wHimS aNd DrEaMs

When we first drafted our entou's list, we also set down certain things we wanted for our wedding. Since we weren't constrained by budget while fantasizing, it was really fun... especially for me, I guess. It was only when we tackled our guest list that the fun ran out, to be replaced by dismay... that our families procreated a tad too seriously.

Initially, I wanted 7 flower girls, each wearing a differnet color gown, and wearing a corresponding color wreath. I also wanted custom-made steel stands for different-flavored favorite cakes because I didn't want the usual fondant, 3-tiered cake. We were also clear about wanting a Catholic Church wedding, and wish there won't be a weding rght before or after our wedding so we won't be rushing during the photo ops. I also had this dream motiff before, of using fruits instead of flowers for decor... I wanted topiaries of lemon,, lime and grapefruit... which is why our motiff is citrus-spring. Jojo wants fireflies inside the Church, and I insist on getting videographers using 3ccd cameras. We also included all my other nephews as "Bubble Boys', not really expecting them to do anything except blow bubbles as the flower girls are throwing flowers.

And of course, my wedding gown won't be white or off-white. It would be the palest lemon color.

Anyway, after reality has come crashing down upon us both... we've decided to forego the many flower girls. I'd just have the usual 3 (it's going to be a kick having their names in the invitation: Sophia, Mayumi and Sofia) and won't even have any bridesmaid at all. The secondary sponsors would be limited to Jojo's two sisters and my cousin who's living with us. Maid of Honor of course would be my sister, and the Best Man Jojo's brother. The ring bearer would be the bunso in Jojo's family (he'd be around 12 by then, but who cares).

Of course, we have to give honor to our fave, fave kids: Ela would be Honorary Maid of Honor (she'd be 9 yrs. old then) and Pyro would be Honorary Best Man (he'd be 2 and a half).

I am leaving my sister to decide what kind of gown would suit her best, but my female secondary sponsors are going to wear this dress. We just have to choose a more citrusy color, but I really love it because it's so simple and so flirty. Of course, i'd have the flower reduced to a much smaller size (maybe, a gerbera daisy would do) at the waist, but other than those things, it's really perfect. Especially since my gown will really be a simple one (my colleagues are still convincing me to not be so averse to beads and sequins and embroidery).

For the wedding rings, sigh, i've allocated just a small amount for them because I want simple gold bands we can really wear everyday. We found a wonderful 2-tone ring tho and i love it, though am not sure if our budget can cut it. It's very different from the usual wedding ring and yet simple too.

Anyway, i'm adamant that the meaning of the ritual won't get lost in the preparations. Sure, girls would often dream of elaborate preparations and such, but I can be content with just close family and friends and a simple ceremony.

As long as the food is great.

tHe GrAnD gEsTuRe

I have found myself crying sometimes, that I've been racking my brain for ideas and ways to come up with a meaningful wedding for a cheaper price... only to be reminded again and again that my Baby hasn't told his own parents yet.

He couldn't understand how vulnerable and pitiful I felt, even if I know his parents cannot really do anything about it anymore, and are not likely to create scenes during the wedding anyway.

I just felt that he should have told his parents first. And that he should have told my parents he intends to marry me, rather than just have them find out because my Mom couldn't contain herself anymore and had to ask me..."Does Jojo even have plans of marrying you?"

I mean, that isn't much to ask, right? After all, he didn't even need to buy me the ruby engagement ring i've always dreamed of and go down on his knees in some melodramatic way just to get my YES. And i've even told him that i don't even expect the usual pamamanhikan from his family anymore...

I just wanted his parents blessings... supertitiously feeling that we cannot proceed unless we had it.

And sure enough, after many quarrels and tears... after partying till 7 am with his friends (and me texting him furiously about being so inconsiderate to not let me know if he got to Pampanga safely... when he was back in Manila na pala)... he decided to talk to his parents and tell them about the grand plan.

And there it is, the grand gesture I was waiting for...

Which made me sooo happy, I cooked for him yesterday... and even bought cake. :)

(he asked me if i was sure I wanted to marry him... and i told him, i never even needed to psych myself up, convince myself or prep myself to the idea... that everyday i've asked myself IF i really wanted to be with him... and no matter how i phrase and rephrase the question... i just keep coming back to one answer: a married life with him)

TiMeLiNeS

September 25
Went to the St. Francis Parish Office to put down a deposit on our Church reservation. Who would have thought i'd find the future groom of my college best friend there, doing the same thing.

My friend said, it's the alter-ego thing still working in our lives. They're getting married in the same church on 08 December 2005.

Another college friend said that if she's going to pursue a Church wedding, it would also be at Paco Park.

September 12
We decided to take a trip to Dangwa and check out which flowers we wanted to grace our wedding altar that would be in season during Decembers. My Baby fell in love with orange, yellow-tipped gerberas (which cost P180/dozen) and said he wants the whole altar filled with just that flower. We also bought some roses to offer to St. Pancratius Chapel.

His back was aching, and I twisted my ankle on a stone there somewhere. Ergo, we were both limping back to Paco Park.

We also decided to check out Orchidairum as a possible venue for the reception. We teased each other mercilessly about the other just wanting to hold hands while walking in Luneta. Ahehehe... Turned out, the place was closed. It also looked jungle-y and unfriendly.

September 05
Went to the Wedding Expo being held at the NBC tent. My Baby bought me a cake and we shamelessly sampled Ms. Maribeth's Chocolate Confections (0917-893-1688). It was two hours of checking all the exhibits out, asking for menu packages from caterers, debating the pros and cons of the current magazine-type wedding albums (and how we just hate portraits cut by the dividing line between pages) and wondering what we'd like as background music (singer, band or string quartet?).

I ended up with aching feet. He was disappointed that people were discouraging him from using FIREFLIES. We bought Go Nuts Donuts and missed Mass because I couldn't be kept away from organizing all the brochures and flyers we got. He, of course, fell asleep.

August 13
I started the spreadsheets to facilitate budget estimation of all the things we needed to buy and pay for, with the premise that we are not going to be sponsored by either set of parents, and that we'd be the ones paying for our entourage's clothes (heck, even our parents' gowns and barongs). The total cost was alarming at PhP340,000++.

And to think I also don't want either of us to be heavily in debt because of a wedding (some couples start getting as many credit cards as they want to pay for their wedding, and I will not allow that... we're happy with just the one credit card we share).

I know this should challenge my creativity, but it just gave both of us headaches.

July 2004
Upon deliberation of possible venues for the ceremony, we decided to drop San Agustin (because the steep fee they require can be channeled into other expenses). We considered Malate Church, what with my Baby being baptized there, but when we attended Mass there, I also almost fainted. We dropped it, because he didn't want a fainting bride... then we discussed Paco Park, and went to Mass there. And of course, we were just really decided after that. And we've tried going to Mass there together ever since.

Valentines 2004
We attended Vinnie's wedding, fought in the car during the drive to the reception, hit another car, and didn't really make up until we got to the reception site at The Fort.

We lost in the couple limbo dance competition but had great fun. We capped the day by playing with my baby's new PDA, and detailing stuff we wanted for our wedding. We also came up with the entourage and guest list.

Where can we possibly get the money to feed more than 300 people?!