Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Moving Forward...

Both hubs and I grew up with particular fantasies of our future children enjoying their grandparents. Circumstances, however, don't seem to be on our side. Not only have my parents migrated abroad, we're also dealing with other family drama... enough to say that last weekend was hellish for both of us.

But we're continuing to move forward. Hubs and I went on to attend the Breastfeeding and Parenting seminars held at the Medical City last Saturday.

Then I gave him a copy of the movie SNEAKERS, an old movie involving computers and River Phoenix that he's never seen and always wanted to see, and watched it together.

Sunday found him buying a treadmill (for him, esply since we found out his cholesterol levels are above the normal range) and a new chest of drawers (for Yakee's things). And lots of DVDs (those pirated 8-in-1s). We watched Die Hard 1& 2 (I never saw any Die Hard movie before).

Monday found us braving the rains and traffic of Divisoria... and spent the whole day there shopping. We mostly ended up bingeing on food, and my sister bought more things than we did for Yakee (I only actually bought gauze cloth diapers and a rubber mat). It was exhausting but fun.

Always, at the back of our minds, we hurt and we worry over the possible implications for us of our parents' decisions and actions. It's really hard crossing the threshold of being somebody's child and becoming somebody's parent. Really puts a lot of things in perspective... always, we engage in honest dialogue. Always, we remind ourselves that our family now is the one we're building and preparing for. Always, we reiterate who we need to protect first. Always, we remind ourselves to stand by what we think is right and fair.

*~*

Last night, hubs spent the better part of an hour writing his first letter to our unborn son... and then spent his last waking moments feeling said unborn son having a field day in my belly.

Life is still bliss, the best is still yet to come... because in the end, we have all the love and family we need.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Prayers to the Almighty

... basically, that Jojo and I always have the grace, the courage, the will, the creativity, the resourcefulness and the willingness to work on our marriage, to continue loving each other and continue enjoying each otehr's company...




... it would be so nice to renew our vows and have our kids cry while they say how privileged they were that we were their parents, not through any material thing we could provide, but because of the depth of love we inspire...

like at the wedding renewal we attended last week...


* used Scrapbook flair elements



*~*

Btw, congrats to my beloved 1st Baby, my husband... for passing his ACS exam :)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Where the MAGIC happens




Because of the weird shape of our bedroom (kinda L-shaped), our queen-sized bed had to be tucked into this corner, without space for side tables and what-nots.

But this is where the magic happens.

The late night talks. The kulitans and landians and kilitians. Our rituals before sleeping (hubs insisting on sniffing my armpits, me insisting on sniffing his neck, him kissing my tummy twice and then kissing me once, me scratching his back, him meme-ing me to sleep).

The serious conversations. The tearful disclosures of fears and hang-ups (most of the tears come from my end).

This is where we build our dreams for our family, where we make plans as we cuddle in each other's arms.

This is where we worry about the families we left behind when we became man and wife...

This is where we read our favorite books, or watch videos (either from his media player, or his laptop).

Sometimes, we even bring our hobbies and work here...

This is where we fight.

This is where we make up.

This is where we make love.

This is where I find myself awakened with a kiss and breakfast in bed... in the weekend mornings when hubs has had enough sleep to wake up before I do and prepare breakfast. Esply now that am pregnant and he gets so concerned about Yakee going hungry.

This is where we battle with morning sleepiness every workday... and where hubs keeps begging for 5 more minutes of sleep.

This is where hubs finds me waiting for him... when he has to work late... or when he's out with friends and I had to stay home.

This is where we give each other massages.

This is the first and last place each day where we tell each other 'I love you'.

This is where the magic happens :)

Monday, August 13, 2007

Baby-Preoccupied Weekend

Poor Baby Jojo, who has to squeeze in his review for a particular certification with all the rest we have to do and prepare for Yakee's arrival.

Anyway...

Baby Shower
The w@wie friends I got to bond with the most held a baby shower for me. We've agreed that it's a tradition we'd try to do for everybody (since we couldn't really throw each other bridal showers before, because we got married around the same time, except for Con).

Anyway, it's soo great to see them again. I missed the christening/dedication of our guests of honor (Simone and Joaquin) so I didn't get to see their Moms for a long time... of course, we missed the others who couldn't be there (2 still recuperating from surgeries, 2 are abroad, and 2 are dealing with pregnancy blues and limitations). We had lunch at Krokodile Grill (is that spelled with an 'e'?) in Shang with our spouses. The conversation dwelled mostly on babies and gadgets and horror movies.

Jacque saved me from buying a baby book... Con made sure that Yakee will always smell fresh and clean... and Karla made sure Yakee will be kicking us in style :D


Rest of the pics are here


As you can see, Mommy Mec is singkit with glee in the pics, hehe.

Baby Check-up
My due date is now October 07, 2007 (that's my BIL's and a friend's birthday) but if I go into labor anytime after the 16th of September, my OB said she's not going to stop it anymore (but she also said most firstborns are delivered near the due date). OB was happy that I responded to Moriamin Forte and deduced that Yakee is not underweight anymore (I weigh around 152-154 lbs now), but she prescribed me some Calcium supplements because i've started having leg cramps already.

Hubs tried making our OB say that I should stop working na... he's really antsy about the thought of me travelling on my own :D

Baby Shopping
We have delayed shopping for our baby's needs till we knew his sex. Am now 8 months along and we're suddenly trying to cram the shopping into our weekends. We don't really plan to buy a lot of stuff, knowing that we'd be deluged by a lot of clothes and stuff when we have Yakee baptized... and also because we'd rather get an idea first of which things we'd really need (complete with specifications).

But we do need a chest/cabinet for baby's clothes. And Yakee cannot really go around just wearing diapers, now could he? So we went to Bel-Air yesterday, in that shop filled with export overruns. Hay, the little outfits are all so cute! I bought 4 small rompers and a newborn-sized one (my sis doubts Yakee will fit daw the newborn-sized one, bastus no?).


This whole lot cost us P1,445.00


After Bel-Air, we went to Babyland. Hubs checked out the strollers while I looked at feeding bottles. I was going to buy the Avent ones already but thought, in time, that the breast pump I intend to get might not be compatible with it. We ended up empty-handed and just went grocery shopping at Pure Gold :D

Later today... i'd check out SM. And then maybe i'd just have hubs go with MIL to Baclaran/Divi for the other stuff (like cloth diapers and hangers).

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

BaBy SupErStiTiOnS 101

Old Wives Tales are part and parcel of our culture... and anywhere you go, you're bound to be governed (willingly or not) by at least one.

The minute a woman announces her pregnancy, elders would be rattling off these 'proven techniques' to ward off evil, sickness, or just really avoid having a bad, temperamental child.

While pregnant, a woman is discouraged from looking at ugly things, for example, to avoid having an ugly baby. They also say that what she eats (lihi) a lot of, or fancies during the pregnancy will affect how her baby will look like (thus, always eating puto will result in a fair-skinned child, while always wanting dinuguan will result in a dark-skinned child... and always eating puto dipped in dinuguan will result in a morena, or caramel-skinned child, etc.) This is how they explain away babies born with deformities (pinaglihi daw sa palaka) or features different from theirs (eating lots of corn results in a brown-haired child, because of the 'hair' on the corn).

And no, I won't even discuss how use of snake oil supposedly ensures a smooth delivery... or eating a part of your baby's placenta, or horse meat, is supposed to make a woman recover quickly from labor.

And if you think the superstitions will stop once you've given birth, well... it won't.

Anyway, some 10 years ago, I wrote an article for a now-defunct magazine (Breaktime) on the many superstitions surrounding a baby. Since i'm actually too lazy to find the article (and I don't have a soft copy of it), i'll just try to remember what I can...

USOG (baby getting sick and antsy for no particular reason, I guess it's medical counterpart could be COLIC). Don't let the baby go out of the house without wearing the red-and-black bracelet (the ones you can buy in Quiapo), which you can also pin under his clothes. Or you can also pin whatever blessed thing you can find under his clothes (some use pendants, some use this smallish pillow filled with what feels like sand/ashes, some use bullets). Some, however, opt to just put lipstick on the baby's forehead when visitors are present.

Extra protection for your child can also be had by letting visiting friends and family wet their fingers with their saliva and apply it on the baby (usually done surreptitiously, and on the baby's feet). I have a colleague who had the unfortunate experience of having a friend who didn't know about the superstition, and when she insisted na 'lawayan' her daughter, offering her baby's foot, her friend took the foot and literally licked the sole.

Wehehe.

Oh, and people with empty stomachs, or those who just did something strenuous/stressful/exhausting are expressly forbidden to coo, greet, play, nay, even look at the baby.

And if the baby is already crying and fussy and you suspect usog has transpired already, it can easily be remedied by boiling the clothes the baby was wearing when you suspect the usog happened (usually, the clothes he wore when you went out with him last).

UNANG UNAN (first pillow) One of the things that supposedly guarantees your baby will be smart is to have him use a book/reading material as a pillow (of course, what you really do is find a thin, soft book and insert it inside his pillowcase with his baby pillow). My Mom was told of this when she was carrying me and did it (wala namang mawawala). She was surprised to see me grow up really loving to read (way before I actually knew how). Weirdly enough, she didn't do the same to my siblings... but did it for Py. Only, she used a prayer book for Py. Coincidentally enough, aside from being smart and loving books, we were amazed at how innately spiritual Py was.

UNANG SUBO (first feeding?) Supposedly, when it's time for your baby to eat solid foods, the person to feed him his first solid food should be someone whose eating habits you want the child to possess. So, if you don't want him to grow up finicky, you'll find someone who has a healthy appetite and attitude towards food. Some just pick any hearty eater they know, invoking that their child will be the same.

FIRST BIRTHDAY If you want to know your child's future passion, spread different things in front of him on his first birthday... things that represent different interests (ball for sports, crayons for art, etc). After blowing his birthday candle, watch what he plays with first. Mom again heard of this and did it to me and I supposedly crawled over the many things to get to a book :)

UNANG GUPIT Pinoy babies usually get their hair cut for the first time on their first birthdays. Superstition holds that the person to take that first snip should possess the qualities you wish your child to imbibe. So, if you want your child smart... get a smart person to perform the first cut. You can strengthen the magic by keeping the first snip of hair inside a book (again, use a Bible if you want the child to grow up good and prayerful).

My close cousins have gotten me to take the first snip on their kids... True enough, they're all achieving in school... Unfortunately, they're all so noisy and pasaway too. :)

FIRST DAY IN SCHOOL Cut out the letters of the alphabet (or complete 1-10 if you want a Math genius) from a newspaper and burn these. Sprinkle the ashes on chicken congee (lugaw... or maybe any soup), mix, and feed this to your child after he returns from his first day in school. Again, this is to ensure he'd grow up bright. (tip: the smaller the cut-outs you burn, the better the soup will taste, hehe)

WALKING EARLY Two gross things you can do to make sure your child is walking before turning One include a) saliva and b) frogs. The first one is to use your saliva (before you have gargled in the morning) when massaging your baby's knees (every morning). The second one is getting a live frog and slapping it on your baby's knees... and then letting the frog go.

I know, I know... one can also just use the local andador :D

TALKING Elders caution against letting a baby, who hasn't learned to speak yet, kiss a doll... or another child who hasn't spoken yet. Kissing a doll means he'd have trouble learning to talk, and kissing another baby means they'd both be waiting for each other to learn to talk. One can feed the baby tongue meat and err, female organ meat from pigs to ensure the opposite, however.

HICCUPS If baby's hiccupping much, get a piece of thread from his clothing, wet it with your saliva and then put it on your baby's forehead.

PLACENTA AND CORD Hospitals nowadays take care of disposing the placenta... but before, when giving birth at home was the norm, it was the tradition that a child's placenta should be buried well, with a prayer, so that spirits won't be able to get to it, eat it, and turn your child bad.

Some, however, bury the placenta wrapped in newspaper so that the child will grow up
intelligent... or bury it with a musical instrument to incline the child towards music.

They also said that mothers should hang all her children's cords, tied together, by a window so that her kids would grow up close and bonded.

BAPTISMBefore, Aside from believing that babies cry when Holy Water is being poured on their heads because they're being purged of bad spirits (actually, the baby's either just shocked or cold, wehehe), it was also believed that, in mass baptisms (usually held on feast days), the child whose Mom gets to the threshold of the Church first will grow up most succesful/blessed. Thus, the tradition of Moms running to the Church door after a baptism.

They also say that for a child to grow up sociable and non-shy, you should hang his
christening gown somehere guests can see it, or pass by it, at the reception.

GOOD LUCK If your baby was born with his filmy wrap intact (i forgot what it's called), keep that and it will bring you good luck.

Visitors can also place coins in the baby's hand, and on each side of his pillow, when they first visit him to give the child good luck.

BAD SPIRITS / NEGATIVE ENERGY Other ways to make sure bad spirits won't get to your baby include: not putting the baby's crib in the exact center of your home, never leaving him alone, or if you have to, always placing a sharp object (knife, scissors) near him for protection (I guess they put these under the baby's blankets or something).

Also, women used to be discouraged from falling asleep immediately after given birth, believing that spirits will exchange her baby for their own.

Oh, kissing a baby's feet supposedly invites him to rebel against you when he grows up.

And others put some salt in a bag and pin this on the baby's clothes when they're going out. Upon returning home, they sprinkle the salt on their doorstep, which supposedly drives away negative energies and evil spirits off the baby.


I'm sure there are so many more superstitions out there that I missed... and I don't really intend to encourage parents to believe in these things. Still, it is kinda fun to have stories such as these about your baby. :)

Wednesday, August 01, 2007


Promise fulfilled... in 10 or so weeks

Around eight years ago... there was this guy who didn't know where life was taking him. He should have already graduated from college by then but instead, he was working as a data encoder in a now extinct company.

And... he got his then-girlfriend pregnant. He didn't know what to do. And then, in the midst of not knowing, they lost the child. Needless to say, he was completely devastated... all in all, he deemed himself a failure as a father... as a man.

That was the lowest point in his life.

I made this poem of sorts for him...

and so you weep
for an unborn child
who, in the first place
you did not want
yet, you loved him
and dreamed
dreams for him
in the midst of
all the confusion
and unpreparedness
God must have thought it better
to give you more time
to prepare yourself
for His gift
i believe He loved you
and your child, so much
that He postponed for a while
your meeting
but you, my darling
blamed yourself
for what was unplanned
and your very human reaction
to a thing unknown
and you shed tears
and mourn
for what never was
and never could be
you ache
longing for his little hands
to reach out to yours
yearning for his cries
and laughter
but, things are just
as it should be
the short span of life
that he lived
was all that it took
to bring you God's message
of love...

You, who was scared
and who fretted years ago
can do this
are made for this!
you never needed to question
your capacity to care
and nurture
and give
for...like that unborn child
that haunts you
sometimes
You too were made in His love
You too are on your way to
changing a life...

Parenthood will come soon...

Mec 5-04-2001


He named that unborn child SETH.

And with God's grace, he'd finally get to enjoy fatherhood in YAKEE.

*~*

Needless to say, he turned his life around... after meeting me :)