Introducing... HEDWIG
Hedwig is my new Canon 400D Digital SLR. Had it for a week already. It's a gift from hubs, and was given complete with three Compact flash cards, a carrying bag (with cover) and a new CF reader.

I know. I am such a lucky wife. Real spoiled too. :)

Now we have something better to document Yakee's growing years with. We have a lot of learning to do, though, plus I need to save for a telephoto lens since what came with the cam package is a wide-angle one. We've gotten so used to our S2's 12x optical zoom.

And yes, I know, we seem to prefer bulky cams. But we're useed to the bulk and weight already... and the really great resolution. :)


taken by Baby Jojo while Yakeeboy was eating

And as practice ground, we took a lot of pictures at Baby Joaquin's 1st Birthday party.

More Appliances?
I sometimes still can't help but dismay over some of the wedding gifts we got. And it's not that I am not thankful or appreciative really... I just can't help but wish that the gift-giver was more thoughtful though.

We ended up buying most of the things we're using in our home. And we still don't have a sofa. Hehe.

And now that I have a baby mouth to feed, I can't help but itch for an oven again, and wish that one of our four or five blenders was a food processor instead... and that we got a mixer instead of five oven toasters. And maybe a hot dog toaster (and if i'm going to be honest, my sister and BIL would want one more).

Now, we're consiering buying a bigger water dispenser... and hubs is still at me about getting a mini ref. But enough of these wishful thinking, we have to get through the major expense of a first birthday first. And hopefully, a family date this coming weekend. :)

A School that has you Covered

While checking out the new village being developed in Las Piñas, we passed by this school. I couldn't help but laugh and find whoever named it as such to have gone a tad overboard in enticing parents to send kids to them.



First, it's international. In our pursuit of global competitiveness, there is no doubt it would appeal to parents who believe that it will give their kids that extra edge.

Second, it's Christian. If you think of all the faults of the Catholic Church and its followes (and I don't mean Christians or Moslems or Quakers don't have faults), this just may be a school that can really pound Christian values into your child.

And of course, it's a "school of tomorrow". Channeling progress again there.

I just hope it is a good school, one that doesn't just demand exorbitant fees, one that really has great teacher-to-student ratio, one that teaches kids smarts with self-reliance and imagination.

Meanwhile, I am still un-swayed in my dream to homeschool my baby.

Uxorious

When hubs and I were in Bataan, most of the single ones partied every night. One time, hubs excused himself from the group and he was asked if he was coming back. He said no. His friend said something like. "Duh, as if you're the one breastfeeding" (rough translation)

I know hubs gets that a lot, jibes about him being uxorious (ander de saya), which is such a no-no for the male-dominated Filipino society. But he doesn't mind because, as he told me, he loves taking care of me, he loves being with me, and he loves taking care of Yakee. (I know, good answer!)

I sort of mind. And mainly because the thought that my husband is being perceived as a lesser man. But then again, only those who do not have families, or do not care much about their families (husbands not helping out, husbands making more messes for the wife to clean, adulterous husbands, fathers who miss plays and games, etc) will see him as such. And so i'm glad that he knows not to be bothered by those people whose opinion really do not matter.

And I know, I do get my way most of the time. But I like to think I am not a wife lacking consideration and love. Hubs is just more patient and tolerant really. And ever since, he loves showering me with attention. Also, ever since, i've made it clear for him that I married a little late so that I wouldn't feel I missed being single, and that am hoping my spouse would feel the same. Seriously, marriages and families seldom get in trouble if they have quantity time to be a married couple, to be a family.

Besides, I also like to believe that hubs and I talk, not just about the everyday mundane things, but the important issues about our marriage and family. We may have a long way to go where communication is concerned but this home isn't being run by just one person.

And woe to the man whose wife will never sing praises about him, praises he will deserve.

=====================

ux·o·ri·ous ( P ) Pronunciation Key (k-sôr-s, -sr-, g-zôr-, -zr-)
adj. Excessively submissive or devoted to one's wife.

*~*

Meanwhile, visit Doc Emer's pictures of Yakee

Because I'm Now a Mom

My nephew turned a month old today so I bought a cake for him and we went to their house for merienda. Ice is having a bad case of heat rash which really kind of makes him look disfigured. But he seems to be responding to breast milk applied directly on the rash.

Anyway, because I am now a Mom, all I could really see when I look at him is the true angel that he is. He is just beautiful, sensitive skin and all. But I know how easily he might dismay others, and for a while, I realized how adults who have, or love, especially-challenged kids might feel.

It's true what Marj said before, that once you become a mother, every child you see will have your child's face... their future will be the one you see, wish for, and pray for your own.

And because i'm a Mom now, I realized I am also more aware, and therefore more careful, about passing judgment and comments on someone else's child. Because parents are a protective breed, and such is our love for our young that we would never appreciate him being reduced to a negative label.

But I did tell my SIL and brother that I hoped they also know that Ice is in his ugly phase right now... the first two months of a child's life is probably the ugliest, when he has yet to fill his skin, and his skin peels, and his hair falls, and his entire face decides how it will really look like. That doesn't make my nephew any less beautiful though. And my sister and I often joke about it, how we'd gush over infants and then, several moths later, look at their pictures from infancy and wonder what we were gushing about.

Hehe.

I digressed.

I'm a Mom now. Every child now for me is a gift, a wonder, a blessing, a promise, my own.

Desktop Tag

Tagged by Mai

My desktop is usually cluttered super because I like making folders of everything I download and read in it... I only de-clutter it when the PC starts loading real slow. This is actually really uncluttered right now because we've just backed-up our files.



1) A digiscrapped layout of Yakee, one I made after being annoyed big time by his nipple-biting.

All in all, Yakee's pics and videos are already around 7 GB. The last ones i've uploaded in our smugmug account are his 4th month pics.

2) The icons are not really arranged in any particular order... i've been meaning to get rid of the shortcut icons that are mostly for hubs' gadgets but too lazy to do it.

If you still haven’t done this, I’d like to see your desktops at the moment Panaderos, Laya, Ghee and Tito Rolly


HOW TO DO THIS:
Find the Print Screen key on your keyboard and 'click' that, then open your Microsoft Paint and type ctrl V (paste). Then save as either bitmap or jpeg.

It Is On!!!
Party mode. Party planning. Party favors.

Because for an unknown reason, Yakee woke up at 12:30 last night and refused to go back to sleep, hubs and I used the time our son was shrieking and tumbling about to talk about what kind of party we want to throw for Yakee.

See, when we're in the mood, we'd say we're going to look for a venue and have a catered something. When we're not, we say we'd just go for the generic KFC/Shakey's packages (I really don't want a Jollibee/McDo party eventhough we'd feed the kids that if it's a catered event).

Anyway, we've decided on more or less the ballpark figure we'd be working with and the MUST elements. We're still working out a theme though, and would have to get the party favors our inang kasal sent from the US since we want to really use those. Actually, I think the party favors are good because SIL asked hubs if she can decorate them already (I think there are hats that come plain, but everything else to decorate them are also provided).

I have asked Ging to reserve a date for us (October 12). And we would really check out the venues already this weekend. Meanwhile, I have to draft the budget statetement asap.

Signus
Yakee has a puyo near his forehead, which elders in the family say is a sign that water will be his well, no pun intended, Waterloo.

But he loves baths! He loves the water! So i'll continue letting him enjoy it, and would just keep a close eye.

Mommy Meltdown

Most parents say their child is malikot or makulit. Yakee is truly malikot. Because he's slightly advanced psychomotor-wise (who knew that at six months, we'd worry over him walking sideways using the wall for support, or using everything for support to stand, and stepping over Mommy or pillows to go get somewhere else), he really keeps everyone on their toes. And only those who haven't taken care of a child will say that it's not exhausting.

Because it is exhausting.

And I am exausted to start with from lack of sleep. I don't know why he won't settle right again (growth spurt? can I use that as reason every week?)... he'd sleep okay at 11 or so and wake up an hour or two later, whimper, insist on feeding or beig held. If am unlucky, he'd get all alert and play again. Or he'd insist on sleeping on my lap wrapped around my tummy, or on my chest... and not only is it hard to go back to sleep when i've been roused, I also cannot sleep with a weight on top of me.

And my son doesn't know his strength. I often feel like a battered Mom... so badly that I don't worry about him getting hurt himself. A whole day of clawing and biting and kicking (especially the boobs) is super, duper exhausting!

So when he woke up to play at 8 AM, after a difficult settling that didn't end till 3 AM, I was still feeling weak. Not to mention lacking sleep all week. So I started moaning "No"... and then he somersaults to hit his head on my mouth. That's it. I started crying. An equally-lacking sleep Pappie woke up to rescue me from more of our son's happiness (and prevent me from hurting our son if I got fed up). I cried and cried and cried myself back to sleep.

Yakee wanted Mommy but thanks to attachment parenting, he settled with his father.

I just felt so used and abused eventhough I know it's not personal. Six months into raising Yakee, I still cannot just sleep on demand so I end up sleeping between 8 AM- 12 NN when Yakee doesn't mind sleeping on the bed, and not on a human.

(this also explains the lack of energy to bloghop)

I hate finding myself angry and irrational. I'm scared that i'll end up hurting my son (if not by spanking, that i'll fall asleep again when he's playing and he'd fall off the bed again). I sometimes wonder if this happens to all moms or am just really struggling because I am inept. And am wondering if my son is really just demanding or am really not the nurturin kind.

Sigh.

*~*

But there's a light in the horizon in the form of Hedwig... who came into our lives at a really perfect time.

Favors Please
I have to be honest... something in me seems to resist bloghopping and I don't know why. But please know that when am able to, I do return the visit and that I appreciate the bloghops here :)

Anyway, please pray for Simone (Jacque's precious) who I heard is sick. And pray for darling Mai, who is still reeling from her delivery and due to have her gallstones removed.

Oh and if you're already digiscrapping layouts for Mother's Day, please keep in mind that I have decided to make Mama WordArts, a sample is used in the following layout :)


Credits: Shabby Princess Promise Collection

Not The Greatest Love of my Life
Yakee isn't... that is.

I know, it sort of sounds criminal just putting this out there for just anyone to read. But it's true.

He is my son. It's natural that I love him. It's as natural as me loving my parents and siblings intensely. As natural as having eyes and being able to wriggle my toes. Others might counter that there are those biologically connected who do not love each other, who won't give their lives for each other. Well, that's a choice they make, not their nature talking.

For it's basic animal instinct, to care for your young. Only, humans being the most advanced get to protect their progeny thru loving ways.

So if not Yakee, then who?

Baby Hubby Jojo of course... because I am not tied to him by flesh/blood and yet I choose everyday to be with him, to grow with him, to get to know him. And it is because of this that I can appreciate the true magic, the great promise of wedded bliss. Anyone can have, or may adopt, a child and have a family that way. But marriage requires the greatest amount of surrender and compromise, regardless of the presence of children.

So do I love Yakee less?

Certainly not. I just love the men in my life differently.

Six Months So Fast

Last Monday (7), Yakee turned six months old. Since it was a non-working holiday, we decided to hold it at my in-laws so we were there already starting Friday night.

MIL cooked and baked like there's no tomorrow. In the four days or so we were there, we enjoyed cauldronfuls of beef stew and seafood chowder and lasagna and black and white choco chip cookies, not to mention two cakes (Conti's and Junior's Cheesecake) and at least five ice cream flavors (Coffee Crumble, 3-in-1, Vanilla, Choco Mallows, Double Dutch and my FIC pints of Choco Mint and Caramello Pastillas). And indian mangoes. And shrimps, buttered and sinigang-style. And pancit sotanghon (Conti's). And Chowking food.

So yeah, we all gained weight. And as a treat for Yakee, he tasted his first Marie biscuit and the choco caramel syrup on his cake.

He's still not trying to sit up, but since he managed to go over pillows to fall to the floor while we were napping last Monday, I guess I can say he's mastered crawling already. He also uses everything: us, pillows, the bars on our bed, the wall for support to stand up... and when you hold him standing up, he moves his feet as if he's walking.

Verbally, he's still as talkative as ever. He still expresses himself with his feet, still grosses us out with his saliva. He doesn't exactly thumbsuck, more like he uses his fingers to scratch his gums. He still gnaws on anything and everything, even my knee.

He still enjoys his baths and loves it when am feeding him. But more than all these things, his urinalysis came out clear (for several days I thought his UTI was back) and we need not worry anymore of exploratory tests and medical bills.





It says in books that feeding and sleep cycles change everytime a baby crosses a threshold, reaches a milestone. I told hubs that maybe Yakee seems high-need because these milestones of his overlap... we'd get two or three days where everything is smooth and then we're back to clueless again.

Sigh.

Are we complaining? Yup... me a lot of times even.

Would we want anything to change? Not in this lifetime. Esply when Yakee is already babbling Da-Da and De-De :)

Think Nutrition

My little one has turned six months so a main preoccupation right now is which food to give him, how often, how much and how soon. I am really bent on giving him the healthiest options so he would also develop healthy eating habits. Hopefully, we would also eat more healthily because of him (because it is just so wrong if your child will get your bad eating habits).

So, I was scouring the net for resources and came upon foodconnect.com, 'the ultimate tool for foodies.'

First of all, there are a lot of helpful food articles to be found on the site (look to your upper right). Then, you can post your own recipes, get it analyzed for its nutritional values and share it with your friends. Isn't that perfect when you're feeding kids or trying to keep fit?

All the techniques you're looking for to make the perfect anything, or improve on a recipe, can be provided by all the other foodies haunting the site. Their featured recipe right now is called Fabulous Nanaimo Bars which couldn't help but call my attention for resembling the Mountain Mogul bars I like from Mrs. Fields.

Now I'm really itching to own an oven! Meats are better when baked, see, and I've always really daydreamed of baking cookies and cakes and my kids will all be camping in the kitchen waiting for their first bite of my oven-fresh goodies. I shared this fantasy with MIL and she couldn't help but blush because she got to enjoy that with five kids who are such a fan of her cooking (not to mention nieces and nephews, and now, in-laws).

Oh, foodconnect.com is also a great help in planning parties and shopping for ingredients. Just check out the site and see what I'm raving about!

On Sonographers
When I was pregnant, I must have spent half my check-ups on a bed with a sonography technician doing his magic on my belly... to later assure me that my baby is okay.

With the advent of modern technology, equipments are getting more and more sensitive, specialized and definite. Sonography schools probably invest in all the latest lab equipment so that the sonography tech graduating from their school can competently operate these machines and facilitate great medical service.

We've really come a long way. Before, there weren't even ultrasound machines, now, clinics in malls have sonography technicians performing 3D/4D ultrasounds. And what does this all mean? Healthier babies and peace of mind for their Mommies.

A Life Abroad
FIL has been enticing hubs' sister and her husband to take up a Nursing course at his expense so they can later look for a job abroad. Many friends and relatives are encouraging them too and promising to hook them up with CNA schools in their area where SIL and BIL can take up CNA courses or additional requirements.

She could atually just take up a two-year course in practical nursing because she's already a college grad.

CNA training is also very easily had since there are many CNA schools offering them. This means that if SIL and her family wants it, they can really easily land jobs where there is much opportunity for career advancement, and where they can enjoy security of tenure. But SIL hasn't decided yet so she hasn't enrolled yet.

Sporty Family
That is my dream, at least, for us all to lead active lives and prefer a sporting goods store over gadgets shops.

I'd love for us to have matching shoes with No Tye Laces and headbands as we fool around playing basketball. I'd love for us to own North Face tents, don quik-dry shirts and go camping.... high up in the mountains or on the beach. I'd love to enjoy the outdoors with them, see more beautiful nature sights with them, and develop a greater love and a deeper passion in preserving the environment with them.

Whenever I imagine us in front of our respective laptops/gaming consoles/gadget and enjoying or whiling our time apart... I get sad. Outdoors, active is the better way... and sports will keep us healthy and able to actually save money in the long run as well as enjoy our time together.

Flashback: THE REASON WHY

You’ve always told yourself that
Am only taking you for granted
You’ve always thought that
My love for you is dead

You have stopped believing
And stopped keeping faith
Which only lets me know
I might have been too late

But the reason why I didn't call
The reason why I wouldn’t budge
Is a past that is haunting me
And hurting me so much

A past you have no control over
A past I cannot change
A thing still remembered
A scar that hasn't aged

If I were to love you
And forge a future with you
I’d have to heal myself first
In order to be true

And though it hurts
I have to say goodbye
I have to shut you out
And stumblingly try

To do this alone
And risk losing you
With the fervent wish that
Someday, you'll stop crying too

So, just please bear in mind
The real reason why
Let that somehow soothe you
And give you peace of mind.

And when my work is done
And am finally healed
When I've pacified my heart
And satisfied my grief

I will check the path we once walked upon
I will walk that road again
Only this time without a need
To ever leave again

And if fate were kind
There you’d be
We'll be together now
For eternity

- THE REASON WHY 7-06-2000 10:30-10:40 am


this is a response to a poem he gave me, I used the same title... given at a time when I didn't love him enough yet, didn't consider him the greatest love of my life... yet.

Almost a decade ago, I was foolish and blind. I couldn't see Baby Jojo for the gift that he truly was.

And yet, reading this again... I was right after all. After dealing with the baggage, I was healed and ready to commit. And am glad that being hopeful before proved a blessing for me... for here is hubs, with me for eternity.


Hubs' composition follows:

The Reason Why
You have always wondered why I want to see you today
Why I persist, why I still fight even in these times of peril
I have also asked myself why let myself be hurt?
Then the answer came plainly, and these are the reasons why
I want to see you today, for tomorrow I may go blind
Just assuring myself that your beauty is the last thing I sought
I want to hear your voice today, for tomorrow I may go deaf
At least in deafness your voice would echo in me forever
I want to smell your scent today, for tomorrow I may loose this sense
And that your fragrance would join me through eternity
I want to get to hold you today, for tomorrow I may go numb
To never again know touch, I can bear, to never again feel you, that I cannot
I want to tell you these words today, for tomorrow I may go mute
And never tell you how much I LOVE YOU, the painful reality of it all
And if you would sum all of these reasons up, and think of what I am trying to say
"I can stand to loose anything, as long as I have a little part of you in me..."
JRA07042000



Okay... let's say it together.... MUSHY!!!

Shopping Cart Software
A lot of the n@wies I know are going into entrepreneurship through small businesses from the home. Some who reach a certain degree of success start investing on adverts, websites, logos and other ecommerce software like shopping carts for their online shops.

It is really a very empowering thing, to know that you have the option to work from home and that there is every tool and help necessary out there for you to succeed. Not only does it result in a more financially-able family, it also translates into a happier wife and mother, probably the greatest benefit there is to a home-based business.

The internet, which facilitates these kind of businesses is also an invaluable thing for families and women's sanity. We really have a lot of creative juices we should allow to flow and turn into profitable realities. And availing the services of shopping carts like Ashop's will facilitate income directly to your bank account in a sure and safe way. This makes clients happy too, for nobody wants their credit card information stolen.

Mommy's Bad Gift
Yakee turned six months old today... and Mommy was irresponsible enough to let him fall off the bed. He may have hit the protruding legs of the computer table, I don't know.

I feel so bad for not waking him up sooner, and falling so deep asleep, and not getting to him in time. I feel so bad for letting him sleep on that side, using the heat as an excuse because he gets more breeze on that side. I feel so bad for not using more pillows and for removing the bag in that area which could have cushioned his fall.

I feel so bad for endangering his life, his health. On this special day too, no less.

I want to cry so badly but we're here at my in-laws and I really don't want them to consider me weak on top of being irresponsible.

Sigh. I just have bad things to say about me right now talaga... i'm just so sorry.

*~*

He doesn't even have a bump and though he cried so bad, it seems like it was mostly because he was hurt a little and much sleepy still.

Bad Credit Loans
When a friend before found herself in debt, it was really a great thing that she could still depend on her father to help her out. Others are not always lucky.

But for true-blue financial woes in the past, badcreditoffers.com provides a second chance at good credit through bad credit loans and bad credit credit cards. People at least can get a home loan, car loan or a credit card even if they had a bad credit history.

At least people who have gone bankrupt or mismanaged their money before can still get a chance to build on their dreams.

Photohunt: Glass





The glasses filled with white wine that we used for toasting each other at our wedding reception. Since I didn't like wine and was expecting champagne, I almost spit it out, hehe.

Gusto Mo Bang Maging Paste?
'Gusto Mo Bang Maging Paste?' (Do you want to be paste?) asks my cousin to my salivating, drooling son because he's already very icky with his saliva. Everyday, i'm looking at his upper gum for signs of more teeth because he's gnawing and gumming on things with a vengeance.

Plus, of course, feeding him usually involves getting the food all over his chest and face and limbs as he wrestles me for the spoon everytime I feed him. I keep forgetting to give him his own spoon so he wouldn't mess with mine.

It's small consolotation that books forewarn that feeding babies will be messy, and that there is some wisdom in letting them play some with their food (maybe because it makes feeding times more enjoyable for them). Yakee, at least, is limited to blowing raspberries with his food... with so much glee that I can't do anything but forgive him.

Not just cooking lessons
When I told hubs that two of the PEX moms I met with over two weeks ago were attending the same culinary school, hubs asked me if I also wanted to attend one.

Given that I really have much to learn about cooking, am not really sure if I should already go to a chef school. Then again, where better to really learn the basics along with the tricks of the trade right? Plus, culinary schools are varied. Browsing Culinary-school-finder.com, I realized that there are specialized ones that concentrate on baking, pastries, Mexican or Italian or Mediterrenean or French cooking, etc.

Hubs is asking me to cook tinola for him this week. We've agreed that i'd at least cook for him once every week. I'm still bargaining though that the chicken spread I made for him will suffice.

Pharmacy Technician
Of course, pharmacy technicians should also get some career training. They attend to prescription requests, weighing and counting drugs, maybe even pricing them and properly labelling them too.

Just imagine if a pharmacy tech didn't follow the instructions in formulating your child's suspension medicines. Too much or too little water in fever meds and antibiotics could affect your baby's recovery and healing.

And given the economic problems in this country, it would really be great if the pharmacy technician salary is competitive, so they wouldn't resort to stealing drugs or selling illegal ones.

Career Training for X-ray Technicians
Our recent medical preoccupations made me wonder if the personnel in medical institutions are being trained properly and updated accordingly.

Take for example the x-ray technician who not only performs x-rays but also other laboratory tests like CT scans or MRIs. I remember years ago, my sister suddenly had high fever while on duty in a hospital in Novaliches. Those who attended to her conducted an ultrasound of her kidneys and informed us that hers is filled with stones. It was only great love for me that got my sister off the bed in the following days so we could have the ultrasound repeated... and the second opinion found that there was not one bit of stone in her kidneys. She actually had dengue.

My sister could have died if we didn't have the mind and the money to get a second opinion and have a battery of tests performed on her. Which is why it is drastically imperative for an x ray technician to be kept abreast of modern technologies' demands.

Lab equipment these days are more computerized now, requiring not just precision skills but actual smarts. An xray technician will be able to perform his work better when hopsitals and clinics invest on career training, and the real beneficiaries will be the public.

Make A Wish Tag

Tagged by Abie

Here are the rules:

1. Think about what it is that you want more than anything, what your heart’s desire and fondest wish is, and what it is that you would wish for if you were to see the above wishing star flame across the night sky.
2. Right click and SAVE the blank graphic below.
3. Use a graphics program of your choice and place your wish on this picture.






Now... feel free to pick it up :)

Some Cash Advance Helps
All the while we thought that our health card will cover the circumcision as we were already enjoying free check-ups and labs from Intellicare. But no, phimosis is considered a congenital anomaly and circumcision has already been established as having without medical indications.

Tsk.

It's times like this that cash advances and payday loans come in handy. Because of my son's age, he had to be confined and required general anaesthesia. We could not get a room with other occupants because he might catch something from the patient or the patient's visitors. And although we got the smallest private room possible, our hospital bill still amounted to P25k.

Tsk.

Now imagine if the one who will have such a medical need does not earn that much or doesn't have enough savings to tap. This is where cash advances come in. Payday loans are heaven sent when availed for the right reasons. We just cannot plan medical emergencies and our health is the last thing we should compromise. So it's really great that they are easy to apply for and can be conveniently withdrawn, with payment options offered, no less!

We were lucky that it was actually hubs' payday then. If it was not, we wouldn't have been averse to applying for a payday loan since it's a more practical thing to do than withdraw our savings or charge it to credit when we actually had cash.