Saturday, December 08, 2007

Two Months Two Soon

Yakee officially turned two months yesterday... his Pappie couldn't be around because he had to work. I made sure I saved him some of the cheesecake, cake and carbonara though... esply the cheesecake and carbonara because I slaved making them.

At two months, Yakee has better control of his back and neck bones/muscles... which can prove a challenge to his handlers. And his sleep/feeding cycles keep changing almost every week, reducing me to breakdowns and further wreaking my own body clock. He plays a lot now, interacting with people by cooing and being charming... and fussing when nobody's playing with him (which can prove hard when he decided to play starting 3 AM).

I love the child to bits but find myself sometimes too depressed to respond to him... the exhaustion is also aggravated by the fact that I fear i'd end up hurting him, not intentionally, but accidentally. Which was why I couldn't bring myself to stand up this morning to soothe his cries with a dance, because my back, hips and CS scar are all aching... and I was too sleepy and tired I just know i'd drop him. And so I cried for hours.

The thing is... we actually have a lot of good and good enough days. But when it's a bad day, it gets really bad for me. I guess it's because am mostly operating on pure adrenaline, because good days mean around four to six hours of sleep only (bad days mean as little as fifteen minutes). And it's not like I don't have help... hubs and cousin and sister all pitch in, but mostly around the daytime (when I can't sleep no matter what I do and just end up in a sort of daze).

Sigh. Unfortunately for me, I just can't nap like hubs at a drop of a hat. Sigh, enough with the nervous breakdown rant :)

Anyway... I can't believe it's been two months already since this little boy was yanked out of my belly. He doesn't seem like an infant anymore (infancy is how long ba?) and I can't help but miss the really fragile him... while simultaneously celebrating the healthy, intelligent, giggly boy that he's becoming :)

I did say there are a lot of good days right?

and here's our pictures at the N@W Christmas Party

and here's a video :)


Just for the record... I clipped his lashes today. Good luck to him... let's hope they'll at least grow back. He he.

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