Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Discovery weekend... and how


To say that the weekend has been eventful...and long... will be putting it mildly.

Friday saw my Baby and I braving the rains to go to Barbara's first before going to the Discovery Weekend.

Unfortunately for my h2b, I forgot the money for the payment we intended to make that day! I was absolutely paralyzed with fear that he was going to be upset with me... but he was absolutely understanding... he said he knew, and hoped i knew, that he's sure I didn't forget the money on purpose.

So we just ended up talking about the little details of the contract with Ms. Jenna. We promised to make the payment on Monday because Jojo was on leave but also didn't get around to doing that. More on that later.

*~*

The DW was designed by a Jesuit, so it was Catholic-Christian based. True enough, if people didn't believe there is a 3rd party uniting them in marriage, not as many would have bothered to get married in Church.

I can't say am very spiritual... and reflecting in terms of God's involvement was a challenge.

But we, Jojo and I, walked as a couple indeed during the weekend. Basically, we talked. We had dialogues and focused on feelings. There was disclosure. There was pain. There was shock. There was plenty of sadness. But there was also plenty of rejoicing and gratitude for the little things that we do have.

Plus, it was empowering to be with couples who have, like us, taken the time to be together for the weekend. PDA was a must. Talks involved holding hands. The weekend was really about the couple.

I don't want to ruin it for anybody else interested. All they have to know is that this kind of preparation (as well as attendance to other pre-wedding seminars/talks or going into pre-marriage counselling) is the most important of the wedding preps. Next is surrounding yourself with a community of those who believe in marriage (w@W and blogberks come to mind) so that you can make a support group available to you when the going got tough. Because the going WILL get tough. Some ISSUES will take years before getting RESOLVED. Patterns of acting and reacting usually date back to early experiences in childhood...

Because of other things going on in our life, Jojo and I approached Sir Allan and Dondi for a little push in the right direction. A really good advice we got is making the distinction of what kind of families we're coming from, and what kind of family we intend to build... and making a distinction between things we really have a control over, and things that are beyond our control but which will affect us still.

:)

Truly, it was an experience i'd encourage other couples to have.

*~*

One of the speakers (couple sharer) was so funny I just had to ruin them for the others... hahaha... he made an introduction using movie titles kasi.. like

When we first married, we thought our love was like Romeo and Juliet's... but now Romeo Must Die... and Die Hard (one, two and three)

or

I wish my wife was just a Runaway Bride... because now she's turned into the Bride of Chuckie

Laugh trip sya pramis. And they have been married 29 years. :)

*~*

Saturday night, I was having a mild sinus allergy attack... basically I suspect because the rains have stopped.

Sunday, my period was due.

So I was going about with this intense headache, I couldn't even bear light.

Sir Allan (one of the couples-in-charge at the DW) was actually ready with meds, but most of the OTC meds he had, I was allergic to.

Going home later in the afternoon, I really couldn't bear the pain anymore... which made me try on another OTC med I haven't tried...because it's just like the one am not allergic to (daw).

Poor Jojo had to spend his dinner date (w/ me) watching my eyes swell and puff, making me look hideous. By the time he got me home, I couldn't see a thing. Turned out, Claritin alone couldn't fully remedy the allergy... had to wake Jojo the following morning at 6 AM so he could prepare and come to bring me to the ER. That was how we spent Monday.

I know I scared him so badly... his text messages suggest that he'd rather I confine myself to my bed till the image of me w/ the swollen eyes/face was erased in his mind forever.

He's also tasked me to make an inventory of all medicines am allergic to.

*~*

The DW has made me realize that I really love Jojo... that for him, am really willing to put aside my self-destructive tendencies and pride. But some things may have come a little too late.

I don't deserve the chance, but my beloved is giving me hope that our love is greater than our faults and shortcomings. And I want to have it noted that am grateful. Ashamed that I have been unfair to him at times, but grateful nonetheless, that he really means it when he says he loves me.

Everything else, I leave to time, to chance, to God.

*~*

Re-scheduled my 3rd fitting next week. Measurement-taking for the entou is this Sunday... but two of my flower girls are sick, and am worried.

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