Tuesday, March 06, 2007


What with Cebu Pacific offering all-time low plane fares to favorite travel destinations, friends and acquaintances alike are all scrambling to get seats with their families and barkada.

And all I can do is sigh... and feel envious.

Because am not yet past my first trimester, and spotting everyday... I see no plane trips ahead of me. For the next two years, I can't imagine going someplace that far for a vacation... because travelling with a baby is not just hard, but also limiting. I'm not saying it's not possible... but I am saying it's hard.

And that's sad... to have things change like that.

I remember when we were preparing to jump off that bridge in Cagayan, around this time last year, the Mom from the couple we met to go white water rafting with told me that ever since she's given birth, she's felt scared of such adventures because she's always afraid something might happen to her... and she may be depriving her child of a Mom. Of course, obviously, it hasn't stopped her... and it wouldn't stop me. Someday, i'd go back to those adventures I have yet to experience, like rafting along a more challenging river, and parasailing, and bungee jumping. But always, there'd be that awareness that my body isn't mine anymore...

You'd think you'd start thinking that way once you get married... that you're finally responsible for another person's happiness... so everything you do affects him.

But it's vastly different when you become a parent. Because a child actually NEEDS you and DEPENDS on you...

And the first years together should be spent just like that: together... getting to know each other, establishing trust and building on the love that was there from the minute the parents wished and dreamed, and then learned, that they will be parents.


I may still get to go to Boracay (but hubs' company is flying Cebu Pac so they're landing in Kalibo, and I wanna avoid the 2-hour land trip... but I doubt very much hubs will let me fly Asian Spirit alone) this April... if I get declared OK anytime soon (next check-up will be this Saturday... so I may be able to get back to work again next week).

And there are equally wonderful places that ARE nearby... once am able to stomach moving vehicles again. Hehe.

But it's still really sad for an active, adventurous woman like me to be limited like this.

And it's still really sad to see the passing of an age, for me... for me and Jojo.

Sad... but not bad.

Because parenthood is an adventure in itself.

And the sun setting in Palawan shores will wait. And the corals there will continue to thrive and I will get to swim with the fishes again. Maybe next time, I won't be as afraid. And next time, i'm sure to bring a more hi-tech camera... to capture not just the wonderful sceneries and exotic wildlife, but also to capture the delight in my child's eyes as he/she too falls in love with Life.

Heck, I may not even get to travel like that anymore. Who truly knows, after all, how demanding my child will be, and how hectic my life will become, and how money might be only enough for the necessities. I may even have, I dunno, more kids within the next five years. Who knows how God will bless us.

All I know is, children are blessings. They will re-arrange your priorities but definitely not make it less meaningful.

So again, it's sad... the rearranged priorities.

But it isn't bad.

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