Flashback: THE REASON WHY

You’ve always told yourself that
Am only taking you for granted
You’ve always thought that
My love for you is dead

You have stopped believing
And stopped keeping faith
Which only lets me know
I might have been too late

But the reason why I didn't call
The reason why I wouldn’t budge
Is a past that is haunting me
And hurting me so much

A past you have no control over
A past I cannot change
A thing still remembered
A scar that hasn't aged

If I were to love you
And forge a future with you
I’d have to heal myself first
In order to be true

And though it hurts
I have to say goodbye
I have to shut you out
And stumblingly try

To do this alone
And risk losing you
With the fervent wish that
Someday, you'll stop crying too

So, just please bear in mind
The real reason why
Let that somehow soothe you
And give you peace of mind.

And when my work is done
And am finally healed
When I've pacified my heart
And satisfied my grief

I will check the path we once walked upon
I will walk that road again
Only this time without a need
To ever leave again

And if fate were kind
There you’d be
We'll be together now
For eternity

- THE REASON WHY 7-06-2000 10:30-10:40 am


this is a response to a poem he gave me, I used the same title... given at a time when I didn't love him enough yet, didn't consider him the greatest love of my life... yet.

Almost a decade ago, I was foolish and blind. I couldn't see Baby Jojo for the gift that he truly was.

And yet, reading this again... I was right after all. After dealing with the baggage, I was healed and ready to commit. And am glad that being hopeful before proved a blessing for me... for here is hubs, with me for eternity.


Hubs' composition follows:

The Reason Why
You have always wondered why I want to see you today
Why I persist, why I still fight even in these times of peril
I have also asked myself why let myself be hurt?
Then the answer came plainly, and these are the reasons why
I want to see you today, for tomorrow I may go blind
Just assuring myself that your beauty is the last thing I sought
I want to hear your voice today, for tomorrow I may go deaf
At least in deafness your voice would echo in me forever
I want to smell your scent today, for tomorrow I may loose this sense
And that your fragrance would join me through eternity
I want to get to hold you today, for tomorrow I may go numb
To never again know touch, I can bear, to never again feel you, that I cannot
I want to tell you these words today, for tomorrow I may go mute
And never tell you how much I LOVE YOU, the painful reality of it all
And if you would sum all of these reasons up, and think of what I am trying to say
"I can stand to loose anything, as long as I have a little part of you in me..."
JRA07042000



Okay... let's say it together.... MUSHY!!!