Monday, June 02, 2008

Happily Married

When you're asked by someone, like a stranger thru YM, if you're married, do you just say YES or do you say HAPPILY?

I've realized that most often than not, I actually say HAPPILY instead of a plain and simple YES.

And i've gotten to wondering whether I should stop answering that way.

First, it's not really answering the question... because I am only really being asked if I am, and not how it is if I am. Plus, it might seem as if am trying to be on the defensive ("I am not online because i'm lonely or there's something wrong in my marriage"), or am trying to rub my happiness in their face. Hubs even said that it might even pose a challenge to some guys ("oooh, a happy married woman, let's see if I can make her happier").

But the thing is... I am happily married. I'm not just married in the sense that I am tied to a guy by a document and some Bible verses. I'm not just married in the sense that my family name is different now. I'm not just married in the sense that I am entitled to certain rights and privileges. I am married in the sense that I enjoy everyday that I get to spend with this one/same man. I love knowing him, I love loving him, I love making plans with him, I love building a family life with him. He makes me more fulfilled. He makes me feel more alive. We have lots of happy times.

I have friends who would insinuate that marriage isn't at all what they thought it would be... that their married life isn't as rewarding, isn't as stimulating, isn't as fulfilling, isn't as liberating. Mine is. Despite all the times that Jojo and I wanted to wring each other's beautiful necks, I have never felt that my marriage isn't making me a better person, isn't giving me more of life. I sometimes think that maybe it's because we're still newlyweds and we are still in the honeymoon stage. But some of my discontented, bored friends aren't exactly married longer than I am. And some of my happily married friends have been married for decades.

So I doubt it's really how long you and your spouse have been married.

And I'm actually optimistic that i'd still talk as highly about my husband and married life years from now. So yeah... maybe even if it's not really answering the question, i'd still continue replying with "HAPPILY" instead of a plain, boring "YES". After all, it can also serve as reminder (or beacon of hope) to others that there are happy endings in this world after all.

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