Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Why Have Children?

This is a belated response to a question Jeng floated in our N@W ygroups. And I shall answer it this way:

It isn't just a matter of having the right equipment to actually reproduce, especially since hubs and I established early on that in case of fertility problems, we might choose to adopt rather than go the fertility workup mile. But more because we are of age, we've had our fun, done our share of stupid things, and are actually married now and in a relationship that's good and thriving. It's because we're economically able. It's because our friends and family would have blessed such an addition and our relationship is solid enough to be enriched by it. Having children was not something to complete our happiness, it was just something else we can really do together, a decision and commitment we can enter into without fear of being underserving or selfish about it.

We both grew up wanting to have kids, wanting all the rewards of delighted smiles and being regarded as a hero, a saint, a mentor, a mover and shaker in this world if only in the eyes of one (or three) people. And we knew those rewards would have their price... like never-ending worries, crisis situations, soiled diapers, teenage rebellion and inability to watch our favorite shows on TV in peace. We want the privilege of caring for scabbed knees and first heartaches. Irrational, true. But it's also actually very self-serving. All things worthwhile are never easy, so yes, we're willing to put up with much for something that could never be taken away from us. Nothing could ever beat having the glorious power to bring a smile to a little one's lips and have him equate you with home, after all.

We both grew up believing that a family is composed of parents and children, that the circle of life continues and keeps moving forward, and that the best is always yet to come. So within our families' imperfections, the shameful histories and bad genes, spirits triumphant abound, and love was always there even if some love stories ended in separation. Hubs and I believe that our parents did the best they could, and so would we. We believe that we have something to give, that we have what it takes to inspire, to teach, to guide and then let go.

And most of all, we believe that the world is still a good place in which to bring forth, raise and let loose our hearts.

Credits: Happy Holidays Paper, Frame and Ribbon by Ameliescrap
Fonts used: James Fajardo and Koch Rivoli

No comments: