Tuesday, August 22, 2006

More In Love

My Baby almost had tears in his eyes last Friday, when i got back from my 3-day conference, as he told me that he had to go and leave me (after I've asked him to be home that time because I missed him) because of work. He went home the next day at 6 PM to join me and friends for a seafood fest at Seaside... and was cool enough to allow himself to be coaxed into joining us at White Bird, a gay bar where 18-25 year-old males gyrated with their members out. He was also loving enough to not oppose me getting massaged (well, the masseur was gay anyway) at that place while he had to endure exhaustion, homosexuals and men wearing next-to-nothing.

The next day, he also gamely chauffeured me back and forth to Lipa... so I could say goodbye to a favorite aunt and uncle who are migrating to the US.

Monday morning, I woke up almost in tears, having dreamt vividly that my Baby has married another woman, and what's more... he wrote this magazine-style spread for that wedding... In the dream, I was crying, having already left him, wondering how i'd break the news to my co-CWL that my husband wasn't true to me after all. Both still only half-awake, I called his name and asked him if he's married somebody else. Confused, he stirred to wakefulness and asked me what's up... and I told him...

And his old bedroom (we were at his parents') rang with his laughter...

And I, upset still by the dream, threatened to punch him... to which he responded with more delicious laughter.

So I half-punched/hit his arm many times and was about to start kicking him too... when he enveloped me again (and pinned my legs under him) in his arms, showered me with kisses and told me that he could never marry anyone else.

(But of course, he announced the incident to his family... am guessing it tickled his ego some too!)

The rest of the day, he made sure I ate what I wanted to eat... and we cuddled and played with Iya.

I asked him if he's sad that we still haven't conceived yet, and if there's some resentment with me. He told me he's sad, of course, but not really THAT sad that he can't think of anything else and not enjoy being married to me. When asked the same question, I truthfully replied that there is some sadness that we might have to bend over backwards just to be pregnant, and that i'd probably feel a little bad if we find out that he has the problem... but not enough to blame him nor berate him, since I know he'd probably feel worse (and vice versa). He then asks me if i'd still have married him if we knew from the start that he's impotent... and I told him there's a great possibility that I still would have since I really haven't met a nicer, gentler, more loving man. Then he tells me that even if I was barren, he'd still have married me... and he wouldn't marry anybody else. Again, he told me, he just couldn't.

After making love last night, he returned to the bedroom with my massage oil... with a sheepish grin on his face... his lower back was aching. I was more than happy to oblige. But after that, he tried his best to meme me to sleep.

Separating this morning was painful... and I texted him that I already miss him and feel bad, having been forewarned that he'd be working late nights the whole week.

What's more, we're postponing the Palawan trip to sometime in November... because my boss will be leaving this October and I couldn't possibly go on leave just when we're still adjusting at work.

And I have the blues about work too... and my Baby has been loving enough to call and comfort me... and even assure me that he's ok about supporting me, even if I resign from my work now.


How can I not miss my wonderful, bouncing husband all the time when he's just really a loving, loving man?

And it's amazing to me that I could be falling more in love with him...

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