Monday, September 24, 2007

My Wedding Horror Story

(below is the article I submitted for a magazine that didn't end up being launched... anyway, if ever Mirror Bride mag comes into being, I hope they'd still print my story... what they were looking for were stories from people about their weddings that they didn't like... I believe most submitted stories about inebriated guests, late wedding suppliers or receiving non-thoughtful gifts)

Our wedding relatively went smoothly. The processional had both
mothers at the wrong side of the aisle, some flower girls marched
without a partner, and some guests tried to refuse honoring our seat
plan but everything still went beautifully. It was having our loved
ones present that proved a challenge to execute and that tasked us

Nine months before our wedding, my parents' petition for US
immigrancy was approved. Together with my sister (who was maid-of-
honor), they had to leave for the US. I was devastated at the
possibility of not having one or both my parents walk me down the
aisle. There was also nobody else I wanted for maid-of-honor. I cried
buckets over the sad affair but managed to comfort myself with the
fact that things could be worse (some have deceased parents, or some
come from broken families). A favorite uncle offered to walk me down
the aisle if my Dad couldn't make it.

Then, there was the matter of my father-in-law and his diabetes. In a
span of nine months, he had to be rushed to the hospital twice (the
first, on the eve of their pamamanhikan). His kidneys have started to
fail him and his blood pressure just wouldn't stay stable. My
husband, being the eldest, was needed by his family in a way they
never needed him before. It was very emotional having to see my
father-in-law through drastic dietary changes and alternative
treatments, but he got better and better in time.

Then came another emotional upheaval for my husband's family: his
sister got pregnant. Being traditionally Filipino, everybody was
sensitive enough not to have them get married before us, especially
since we were engaged for almsot two years. But there went one of my
secondary sponsors.

And then, as if life wasn't difficult enough with work deadlines and
wedding stress, we were handed yet another blow. Cancer knocked on my
2-year old nephew's door. We found out about it in October (on my
birthday, in fact), at a stage where we just might be too late. Days
were filled with absences from work as we all rallied at the hospital
for him. On one hand, I was so sad that the nephew I love so much is
sick. On the other hand, I was also so sad that his illness was
dampening everybody's spirits over my wedding.

We originally planned my nephew to be Honorary Best Man (being still too
little to play the Best Man role) and we planned to deck him in an orange
barong. But it was a roller coaster of distress ever since October,
and December found his doctors hankering for surgery (which was
postponed till January) since his vital organs were already being

I started a blog for him

My husband and his family have been very supportive, getting their
relatives and friends to join my family in prayers. But it was still
such a trying time, even with comforting hands holding yours.

Worse, I had to land myself in the ER twice. Once in August for
severe angioedema. Another time a month before the wedding, for
almost going into anaphylactic shock. I cannot imagine how traumatic it
was for my then-fiance to contemplate a loved one's mortality when
you're a month away from committing to a life together.

But everything worked itself out in the end... the universe conspired
beautifully enough to have our parents walk us down the aisle while
my nephew strutted in an orange barong and new pairs of Chuck
Taylor's beside his super-elegant aunt (my MOH). The only thing that
made my eyes puff and made me catch my breath was the beautiful,
beautiful ceremony and having our families complete by our side.


It is with such intense emotion that I post this. Our wedding was many happy memories and late-night fights away... we've crossed that threshold with our loved ones and here we are, about to cross another one.

Only... I really wish Yakee could have been borne at a happier time...

He'd never get to meet Py... and my parents won't get to enjoy him much because they're living abroad... and some people wouldn't be welcome at the hospital, on his birth, and at his christening.

His birth will be the happiest day on earth for my husband... and will be the saddest day too, because he wouldn't be able to share it with the man Yakee and he were named after.


We're learning from the sorrow... and because of it, we're more intent on loving proving that the best is always on its way for those who live by love.

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