Post Partum Blues
Hubs and I were both wary of how mine will be... because given my mood swings, it's simply inevitable that i'd have my share of the blues.

Most women have it after two days or so... crying jags for no reason at all. Not me... I went through the first four or five days easily enough. Hubs was a great partner, picking up my slack and realy rising to the occasion. And other family members have been more than supportive.

And then one night, they were shocked to see me sobbing... over an incident that led me to realize just how CHANGED i've been made by the pregnancy and birth... how LIMITED and COMPROMISED and SCARRED.

And then after that, i'd sometimes have bad days when Yakee has been particularly difficult (I wouldn't say he's a high-need baby yet, he's not even really colicky... just that he refuses to be put down during the night, and hasn't settled yet into a routine). Yesterday was no different... Yakee was fussing for who knows what reason and refused to nurse properly but kept asking for my breast. I was just left feeling unable to deliver and cried and cried. I wondered for a while whether I should stick to my guns about breastfeeding, or try bottlefeeding if it's going to be less frustrating for my son.

Hubs was quick to buy pizza and ice cream... to console me... and also to remind me that it's only been three weeks and Yakee is someone we're only really getting to know. He reminded me that babies fuss, sometimes for no apparent reason, and that I shouldn't use it as gauge of my capacity to care for him. He also gently reminded me that I also need taking care of too... because of the surgery, I AM compromised and therefore, Yakee and I will have to meet halfway.

Sniff. I have an overly wonderful husband.

*~*

For record purposes, I am slightly shocked/traumatized by Yakee pooping all over me and our bed around 5 AM today (while I was changing his diaper) and managing to pee all over the bed too... it was so bad, we had to change all his clothes, all the beddings.

I've heard of the phenomenon of a baby being producing such mess... but am only starting to really realize just how messy things can get.

Thank heavens he's breastfed... his poop was at least butter-smelling. And thank heavens for small favors, that while he was stirring something close to panic inside me when he kept farting and spraying explosive poop, and during cleaning up... he remained sleeping and would sometimes even smile.

Had he bawled as he pooped... i'd have cried again, I swear!

*~*

Also for documentation purposes, he's finished his 5th diaper pack already yesterday. We're still going through different brands to determine what we like using, what's the cheapest quality buy, etc. Since he poops often and requires diaper changes often, we don't really need the highly-absorbency being offered by Huggies Dry Comfort but we like it, also EQ Dry and Drypers (but Drypers isn't always visible). We've established we don't like Prokids. And Yakee can't wear newborn-size since he was a week old.

*~*

Oh... I decided to take after Benz and be OC... so everyday, we take Yakee's temperature twice, count his diaper changes and breastfeeding sessions. Wala lang.