Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Blinded, Forgetful

When we were in Bataan, I did something really bad.

I embarassed my husband in front of family friends by throwing a tantrum. My reason for the fit? I have been caring for a very antsy Yakee for most of the day and I felt like I was some hired help who was only invited there to care for a baby.

I was wrong, of course. Not about feeling exhausted and irritated and annoyed or that way... but about forgetting that my husband is a very caring and loving and doting husband. Ever since Yakee was born, he's always late for work because he'd attend to Yakee in times when our son couldn't be consoled in my arms, or when am literally too tired to get up.

Baby, I am very ashamed of what I did. First time with your family's long-time friends and I had to do that. I'm sorry. I am even sorrier because after our row, you just kept kissing me, and you so easily forgave me, and you became more attentive and loving than ever.

(so when you read this, you'd know why I sounded like that on the phone... I was crying)


I still wouldn't say that Yakee is a high-need baby, basing on other's definitions, he really isn't. But high-need is an easier phrase to use to explain away my exhaustion in caring for him. And maybe he is, and am just really in denial. Or maybe it's because I have never nurtured anyone before.

Sometimes, I really wonder if am doing any good staying at home for him. But I still can't imagine being away from him most of the time. I like being the one to tell my husband what he did for the day.


Btw, a friend's post on how wonderful her husband is touched me very much, because my hubby is as wonderful.

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