I have to be honest... hubs and I aren't doing three things that experts advise are really important to keeping the marriage solid.
We don't have regular date nights (nay, we haven't even gone on a date for a long time now).
We don't have regular dialogues about our marriage and family.
We haven't consulted with a counselor for some sort of objective monitoring and guidance.
But we do try to touch base as much as we can, even if the conversations are mainly about Yakee. And after a hectic week at work, he takes the initiative to skip on gimmicks just to spend time with us, or I gently remind him.
Yes, sometimes at the expense of ME time for the both of us.
We try our best to have dinner together most nights of the week, to talk about the mundane and the trivial and what happened that day. And when serious things bother us, I wait for him to get home and we talk about it. If one of us needs a hug, we text beforehand that we need one so the other would know. Plus, we hug and kiss and make landi a lot during the day.
A sad day is us not being able to talk.
So, although there are things we could do to improve our marriage, we are agreed that ours is still a generally happy one. We even fight less now, mainly because I have mellowed (or don't have the energy anymore) and Yakee is there to distract us and demand from us. Dynamics really change when you have kids... and it really teaches you to choose your battles. We still get royally annoyed with each other sometimes but I think we've also gone a long way in communicating our grievances without having to jump down the other's throat.
So yeah... I can say our marriage is great. We're still blessed.
I am writing this because a friend of ours had a sort of breakdown and is threatening to separate from his wife. This made Jojo and I realize all the more how important it is to:
1) do what you really want to be doing, career-wise
2) be vigilant about communicating
3) manage your stress
We trust in this couple's love... and we hope they do the same so that their love can find a way.