THE BEST IS YET TO COME

I have adopted this motto of sorts ever since I first encountered the phrase from a story I read off a Chicken Soup for the Soul compilation. Keep Your Fork is actually a story of FAITH that something better is waiting for us when we die.

And I thought, we all experience little deaths everyday... the gradual loss of youth and health, the gradual giving away of body and mind. We lose loved ones, we lose jobs, we lose opportunities. We die from old ways of being when we change. So everyday, there are deaths. And everyday brings us closer to something better... and the best is always yet to come... till we all ultimately really die.

One Sunday afternoon, while attending Mass at St. Pancratius Chapel, I shared the story with my Baby... and he too was touched with the woman's testament to faith. He agreed to adopt it as his own motto as well. We even toyed with the idea of giving copies of the story with a fork as wedding souvenirs (but decided it was expensive, hehe).

It became the best thing we can say to each other after "I Love you"... during trying times, and even during already happy times.

We believe there is always something MORE out there. Something BETTER. And what's more, we believe we're getting there. So every day is a better day, just because we're together. And every triumph and acquisition, every happy news validates this belief.

We're comforted in times of pain knowing that something better has been planned for us.

We're made more delighted in times of joy because we still have something to look forward to.

The best is yet to come.

*~*

We started out with a combo meal of sorts at Greenwich on our first date... all that he could afford since he was still only a student. Last night, he came home with big, fat crabs bought from Zambales... just because.

He used to travel from Las Piñas to Manila and back just to see me. Now, he kisses me and my tummy lots of times before sleeping together.

His Mom used to not like the idea of him having a girlfriend, but now, she's already given me two maternity dresses as she fusses and frets along with her son over my pregnancy.

We both used to hold entry-level positions. Now, we've both done a lot of travelling and earn really well.

We used to cry holding each other tight as we contemplated a marriage without biological kids. Now, i've just passed my first trimester with passing grades (not yet flying colors because i'm still spotting).

Oh, we've had our bad times... but we went through them together. And life has greatly rewarded us for the responsible choices we've made.

And still, the best is yet to come. :) No matter what happens, the best is yet to come.

*~*

The phrase is also engraved on our wedding rings.

THE PERFECT...

LATCH
We arrived at the Malayan Plaza a little after 1 PM. Jen, a N@WIE I know by name and face (thru their babywearing instructional video which you can download from their Next9 website) was manning the registration booth and recognized my husband from this blog.

We were one of three couples who weren't showing bellies (I'm only going on my 3rd month, the other was on her 4th month, and the third couple have already given birth three months ago) but the rest of the women have all swallowed basketballs. Some were even due anytime this week :)

Three hours is certainly not enough to tackle everything, from myths to specific scenarios and challenges... but it was enough to cover all the salient points, which include:

1) Almost all women, regardless of their breast size, has the capacity to breastfeed and provide ENOUGH (not too little that you'd need to supplement with formula, nor too much that you constantly have to express the extra milk) for their child's needs.

2) Formula will never compare to breastmilk, not only because breastmilk is so complex and naturally adjusts to the baby's development, but because it has antibodies that will be very beneficial for your baby.

3) Breastfeeding has more benefits, both for your child and you, both for the present and in the long run.

4) Just because nature provided women with the capacity to breastfeed doesn't automatically mean that all women will be naturally good at it. One has to master the perfect latch to ensure the baby will get enough milk, establish the supply-demand and feedback system going on between the mother and child, and avoid pain for the mother. A perfect picture of the perfect latch is found here. Notice how the baby's lips are curled outwards and is latched, not just onto the nipple, but also to part/most of the areola... with her nose allowing for breathing. Here are latching and positioning links to instructions and videos.

5) Breastfeeding is a commitment you make, something your significant others and caregivers/medical handlers should be aware of, so they can support you... especially when you're at your most vulnerable (after delivery) or most tired (late at night).


The workshop served refreshments catered by Barbara's (or so hubs told me) and we all got goodie bags containing a shirt and transition tube from Blissfulbabes, a Medela cup, a pair of disposable nursing pads, pamphlets/brochures/discount coupons from other maternity/baby stuff companies. We also got handouts, of course, and the fathers were given a token of Hershey's Kisses with a poem for being supportive of their wives.

Others interested to take an active role in learning to breastfeed properly can contact people from The Perfect Latch or La Leche League.


MATCH
Frustrated still about the fact that not only am I NOT HAVING PARTICULAR CRAVINGS but also not having appetite at all, my beloved tried enticing me to take my pick of a date place.

We went to Tiendesitas because we both haven't been there... hubs tried coaxing me to drool over the seafood and sizzling stuff, as well as the baked goods and fruits on sale... but alas, I just didn't have the appetite.

Usually, he'd tick off a list of things that I might like and my stomach will decide for me. If I don't gag at the thought of that food, then i'd eat it... unfortunately for us, even my old favorites like sinampalukang manok, sinigang na hipon, grilled tuna belly, etc. make me want to vomit my intestines out. I only like chicken if it's fried, and not battered. I don't like eating beef or pork. I will eat fried fish and sinigang na bangus belly, and that's all. I will eat sardines, but it's not really ok to eat a lot of canned stuff. I crave fresh oysters, kilawing tuna and tuna sashimi... mostly because i haven't had them for a really long time (and of course, raw food is a no-no right now).

Come to think of it, i'd probably eat something if I haven't had it for a really long time... but I don't like vegetables really (though i'd eat steamed baguio beans just fine). I don't like fruits verging on overripe-ness (?)... I can still eat a lot of bananas but I try not to since it doesn't help with bowel movement. I crave guavas but won't eat guapples, and won't eat them if they don't smell right... or aren't the right firmness. I crave indian mangoes but want them crunchy and sweet-tangy... and I won't eat the piko/kalabaw ones. I can go on and on...

Anyway, to appease my husband for only eating rice swimming in sinigang broth last night, I hard boiled an egg for the protein. And I ate an entire corned beef sandwich at Tiendesitas for meryenda even if I didn't like it. And I ate a whole cup of rice and bicol express for dinner with delight.

Because i'm having a gastronomic crisis, my Baby tries to buy me different things in the hope that i'd fancy them and at least eat. He loves me that much.

Anyway, we had a wonderful date at Tiendesitas/SM... one time, he even had me in stitches while we were resting in SM. We pretended to having just met that time, and he's this poor bloke who had to walk to Tiendesitas to meet with me... so poor that the only thing we can afford buying as date food was butong pakwan and mineral water. He asked me to be his girlfriend given that he was already holding my hands, and I (mock) refused, telling him that i'd only agree to become his girlfriend if he promises to take responsibility for the child i'm carrying, supposedly fathered by my driver. Basta, we were hilarious and in love and it was great being out.

SEVEN YEARS AND LOVE CONTINUES TO GROW

Not being able to have proper anniversary celebrations seems to be the trend with hubs and I... hmmm.

Anyway, we had a row over something last March 14... and had to celebrate with my family as it was also my father's birthday. Still, my husband came home bearing gifts... a pig stuffed toy wrapped around a box containing a baby sling.

Like what I shared with N@wies, i've always been amazed by how Old World cultures carried their young... which Angelina Jolie made popular when she adopted Maddox. So it was with delight that I realized I could get pouches and slings too, and carry my baby that way. Alas, when I first broached the subject of babywearing to my beloved, he absolutely balked at the idea.

Especially since I showed him videos of babies being wrapped. He was aghast and felt the babies were getting hurt. :D

But I chose the right man to marry. He read all the literature and sites I directed him to (at least, I hope he did), and he brought me to SM MoA to check out the baby slings. And then, there's the gift of a sling... when our baby isn't due for another 6 months or so.

And tomorrow... we'd be attending the Perfect Latch:Breastfeeding Workshop. He's busy and stressed like hell and would have to work on Sunday... but he made time for this workshop.

We're still not that ok, where the 'row' we had is concerned. But my Baby has been patient with my harping and rants and tears. And though I sometimes feel unloved, I know otherwise.

Seven years separate us from that time when all we had between us was attraction... and the only thing we really shared were sexual urges. We've gone through a lot... and have come a long way from our first Greenwich pizza (Heck, we don't even eat there anymore). We share dreams now... we have plans... we continue to make choices with the other in mind. Now, we're really holding each other's hand and walking in the same direction.

Heaven knows how much I love my husband... and how fiercely I want to keep my family safe and happy. And I know how absolutely loved I am... and how infinitely blessed.

GIVE A LIFE

Baby Jojo and I are blessed... for despite the spotting, I can feel Baby Sac continue thriving inside me.

Hubs decided to take the day off and just work from here... so we're both happily clicking away on our computers side by side. And thanks to our education, luck and the choices we made... we're also lucky enough to afford unlimited internet connection (I use our DSL, he uses his Globe 3G HSDPA).

So I started browsing N@W files and came upon a list of Top 10 Hospitals to give birth to here in Manila. I decided to check the websites of each one (eventhough it's still a toss between Asian and Madocs for us, because it's where our OB is affiliated... and Jojo doesn't want me giving birth in PGH naman). At first, I was just e-mailing inquiries and critiquing each site until I came upon PGH's website.

The Head of PGH was the pedia who once saved my husband's brother's life from kidney problems when Rocky was only around 3-4 yrs old. :)

Then I came upon their appeal for donation from people and the private sector... and my heart went out to the indigents PGH help everyday. I have an officemate who is a cancer survivor, and he always makes sure to give something to PGH every year, for the children's cancer ward.

I then remembered to add a link to Py's blog for PGH... and I really have to create thumbnails for each one and post them in all my blogs.

Then I thought, PCMC might have a similar appeal in their website... but there was none I could find. I'm also surprised to learn that PCMC is not the biggest charity children's hospital... National Children's Hospital is... which led me to Give a Life Foundation.

Give A Life helps pediatric patients in Luzon by providing medicine and equipment in charity hospitals. The foundation needs all the help it can get... so that more and more children will be saved.

It is humbling to me, to have been so blessed, and to be reminded yet again of how others are not. I don't begrudge myself, and the N@Wie and Pexer moms am currently interacting with all the expensive baby stuff and kiddie adventures we are planning to buy or buying for our kids... but it does put things in perspective for me.

That where I am willing to spend thousands for a digital thermometer, I can already buy one nebulizer and donate it to Give A Life. And am sure it isn't an issue in the pediatric hospitals they help that they're only using the regular thermometer... who cares if the child is fussy anyway, so long as you're saving his life.

That where I have the luxury of having my baby's development monitored, there are a thousand other Moms who will never have an ultrasound performed, a hundred of which will give birth to babies with serious defects and health problems that could have been prevented or detected earlier.

That where I can spend thousands on prenatal/fertility medicines, other Moms don't even have enough money to eat three meals a day.

And where I can have the luxury of bedrest, other mothers have to continue washing clothes and peddling stuff as they bleed and gestate...

Sigh.

*~*

I have money put aside for that thing we were hoping to do in Py's memory for other sick kids at PCMC. PCMC has yet to reply to our request... if that doesn't work out, then the money I've put aside will go to Give A Life.

I owe other kids that much... even if what I can give isn't much.

But what the heck, if the ocean is made of droplets of water... then so are great achievements. Besides, miracles only really require kind hearts. It can just be a thousand pesos to me, but taken collectively, it can be an answered prayer of chemotherapy for someone else's child.

*~*

My heart broke when I read of the renovation Give A Life was able to pull off for Fabella Hospital's NICU. Didn't their old floor scream of germs?!

*~*

For others who have extra out there... I appeal to your kind hearts to help save other kids. Let's all do what we can... we don't even have to give so much that it will hurt us, we only have to give a little...

IT'S RAINING BABIES

Last year, I know of only 2 people who were pregnant... Jacque (who has already given birth last Feb) and Con (who is due May, I think).

Then I found out my cousin's wife is preggy too... Ate Beth is due July.

Then I got pregnant too. Then my SIL got preggy a week or two after I did. We're both due on October.

Then I found out that both the weddings we attended last December resulted in reproduction too. Well actually, one of them was preggy na pala, she didn't know it that time lang. Lite is due on August, and Janice is due September ata.

And in my hubs' barkada... there are 4 of us nga expecting babies this year (aside from me and Janice, there's also Sujee and Karla).

And there's also my good Berks pal, Tin.

It's babyville talaga. Andaming piglets! :D

*~*

Am praying for Lite and SIL though, kasi pareho maselan maglihi.

And myself, for being maselan magbuntis.

And Ate Beth, who's had an operation last January to have an ovarian cyst removed, who's at MaDocs right now because she experienced spotting yesterday (she called me to ask about it because it was her first time to experience that...). I really hope nothing's wrong with them both, and the most she's require is more bedrest.

*~*

Even in Newlywedsatwork, there are a lot of us due this October :)

*~*

Heaven bless these babies.

*~*

My sister dreamt I had a girl, and my SIL had a boy who looked exactly like Py...

I wouldn't mind a child who looked like Py (because he was so terribly cute) but i'd rather have a child with his temperament... and intelligence, of course.

But I know SIL and I are both praying that the congenital cancer that struck Py won't ever strike the babies we're carrying... I know that fear aggravates the pregnancy lows sometimes, for us both.

IT'S SAD, NOT BAD
What with Cebu Pacific offering all-time low plane fares to favorite travel destinations, friends and acquaintances alike are all scrambling to get seats with their families and barkada.

And all I can do is sigh... and feel envious.

Because am not yet past my first trimester, and spotting everyday... I see no plane trips ahead of me. For the next two years, I can't imagine going someplace that far for a vacation... because travelling with a baby is not just hard, but also limiting. I'm not saying it's not possible... but I am saying it's hard.

And that's sad... to have things change like that.

I remember when we were preparing to jump off that bridge in Cagayan, around this time last year, the Mom from the couple we met to go white water rafting with told me that ever since she's given birth, she's felt scared of such adventures because she's always afraid something might happen to her... and she may be depriving her child of a Mom. Of course, obviously, it hasn't stopped her... and it wouldn't stop me. Someday, i'd go back to those adventures I have yet to experience, like rafting along a more challenging river, and parasailing, and bungee jumping. But always, there'd be that awareness that my body isn't mine anymore...

You'd think you'd start thinking that way once you get married... that you're finally responsible for another person's happiness... so everything you do affects him.

But it's vastly different when you become a parent. Because a child actually NEEDS you and DEPENDS on you...

And the first years together should be spent just like that: together... getting to know each other, establishing trust and building on the love that was there from the minute the parents wished and dreamed, and then learned, that they will be parents.

Sigh.

I may still get to go to Boracay (but hubs' company is flying Cebu Pac so they're landing in Kalibo, and I wanna avoid the 2-hour land trip... but I doubt very much hubs will let me fly Asian Spirit alone) this April... if I get declared OK anytime soon (next check-up will be this Saturday... so I may be able to get back to work again next week).

And there are equally wonderful places that ARE nearby... once am able to stomach moving vehicles again. Hehe.

But it's still really sad for an active, adventurous woman like me to be limited like this.

And it's still really sad to see the passing of an age, for me... for me and Jojo.

Sad... but not bad.

Because parenthood is an adventure in itself.

And the sun setting in Palawan shores will wait. And the corals there will continue to thrive and I will get to swim with the fishes again. Maybe next time, I won't be as afraid. And next time, i'm sure to bring a more hi-tech camera... to capture not just the wonderful sceneries and exotic wildlife, but also to capture the delight in my child's eyes as he/she too falls in love with Life.

Heck, I may not even get to travel like that anymore. Who truly knows, after all, how demanding my child will be, and how hectic my life will become, and how money might be only enough for the necessities. I may even have, I dunno, more kids within the next five years. Who knows how God will bless us.

All I know is, children are blessings. They will re-arrange your priorities but definitely not make it less meaningful.

So again, it's sad... the rearranged priorities.

But it isn't bad.