Baby Stuff (so far)

Two lines on a home-pregnancy test kit (of course, like any woman out there, I had to have more than one test done!) changed hubby's world and mine forever. Not only did it bring us the usual (or not so usual) pregnancy blues and joys, but it really rattled us to rethink many times how prepared we were, what things we can and should do, and how we'd handle the usual (and not so usual) stuff that parenthood brings.

Anyway, we're still hoping that May was the worst of it... and it'd be a breeze from here onwards. I'm also bent on staying OK so I won't be deprived of shopping for more maternity wear (I honestly don't like dresses, but the way Jojo looks at me in one is enough reason to change my mind...) and baby stuff.

So far, we only have the following:





The baby sling was Jojo's Anniversary gift for me last March. The purple towels with the cute little lambs on it were from Jojo's cousin. The digital ear thermometer (with the Cold Pack Bear freebie) was something I asked my sis to buy for me in the US (which my Mom paid for... and which reads temperatures in Fahrenheit, wehehe, I forgot to caution my sis about that) since we couldn't find any here. The yellow cap and socks were things my sis bought for Baby Sac secretly (because my Mom was being very superstitious about buying stuff before the baby is actually born). Actually, even my MIL is being superstitious and doesn't want me buying cloth diapers and onesies just yet...

But everyone has been asking us to tell them asap the baby's sex. So chances are, we'd be getting a lot of blue or pink stuff (only a few people know I prefer yellow and green and orange).

Jojo and I really wish for a firstborn son. Hubs isn't ready yet to deal with another moody female, and I just really fantasize a lot about having a mini version of my hubs. It's actually kinda bad because if we do have a son who looks so much like him, then am sure to fall more in love with both (and that's bad because i'm bound to be at their mercy, wehehe). But most people actually believe am having a daughter... who am sure we'd love just as much. We really only wish for a healthy baby... and a 'normal' one. But if fate would rather challenge us with a child with special needs, Jojo and I are one in saying we'd rather raise such a child.... than end up having a criminal for a child someday. Wehehe. But seriously, moreso now that am going to be a parent too, I cannot imagine how i'd take it if i'd have to face another parent someday whose child my child really hurt/took advantage of.

The morbid things expectant couples think of :D

I've digressed. Anyway, I vow to not let our house get as cluttered with toys and what-nots... may I have the discipline to resist the urge to buy everything that would look cute on a baby, or everything that lights up my child's eyes.

And tonight, i'll have a talk with hubs again about how he shouldn't get so impulsive in buying toys. He already has this grand dream of getting our child a Lego set with bluetooth (plus, you can programme the robot's actions once it's built)... and he just told me yesterday how he's always dreamed of starting a matchbox collection with his kids.

*~*

Oh, a friend also gifted us with a 2-gig hi-speed SD card... for my digicam, in anticipation of the many pictures we'll be taking once Sac is out.

Short-lived happiness
Day after Mother's Day found me writhing in pain due to LBM. Worse, I compounded the problem by choosing to suffer the pains instead of hightailing asap to the ER. I was thinking of the expense, the hassle and the trouble of going through confinement again.

I was not being a good Mom. And I still ended up in the ER because the LBM-pains triggered contractions and chest pains. And I spent another five days in the hospital... it was acute gastroenteritis that resulted in my electrolyte levels dropping. I also had to spend some six hours alone in one of Madocs' labor rooms as they monitored my contractions.

It was really a trying time... both Baby Jojo and I were just still exhausted from the previous confinement, and there were several times when our communication lines broke down as we struggled to deal with our fears and the exhaustion.

And I just really got too tired... depressed... hay, words can't describe how low I felt.

But... we got through it. There were several lessons to learn, and several SORRY's to say, but we got through it.

Now, we're staying with my in-laws here in BFRV... for hubby's peace of mind... and am relishing the sort of dance happening right now in his home, where his Mom and Yaya are regalling me with stories of his childhood... sort of like passing on the torch of information to me.

*~*

Hopefully, i'd be a better Mom from hereon. And thank God that Sac continues to thrive... no more tocolytics for me lang, since my heart can't tolerate them anymore.

HaPpY MotHer'S DaY
I still have my MIL's text message to me last year, thanking me for my mother's day greeting to her... and comforting me about a just-discovered hormonal problem (possible thryoid problem) which we assumed was making it difficult for me to conceive.

That was my Mother's Day then. This is my Mother's Day now... pure delight for the first time over my pregnancy, because we've noticed my belly is now really round (albeit smaller compared to others since I haven't gained weight still). I can't lie on my tummy anymore because of my bump, and I can now caress my tummy without feeling TH.

Yes, i've seen and heard Sac's heartbeat many times... but weirdly enough, am only just 'feeling' the pregnancy. Talk about smiling all the time and just bursting with happiness.

Sac... our eldest... he/she will make parents out of us... a Mom out of me. So I thought it fitting to celebrate the eldests who made mothers out of truly wonderful women.









Baby Jojo, my darling of a husband, has made me cry and fall a thousand times over in love again with him... because of his gift: The Little Big Book for Moms. It's filled with fairy tales and recipes and lullabies and all other wonderful baby stuff. And he couldn't know but when he was telling me that he was finding me all kinds of cute singing to Sac while caressing my belly, the lullaby's lyrics (Hush Little Baby) could be found in the book he bought for me!

He also bought a book for himself: She's Having a Baby --- and i'm Having a Breakdown. Hehe.

It feels like our wedding day... you know, the best day of my life.

THE LOVING HUSBAND
When I was still active in NGO volunteer work, one of the staff nurses advised us young ones never to get pregnant without a husband. She told us that we'd need a husband to hold our hand during the labor and delivery pains, and help us put our panties on when we can no longer bend from the waist, etc.

Not terribly romantic romantic of her... but very practical. Ahehe :)

Anyway, everyone knows that am having a rather difficult pregnancy. My OB advised me to have myself admitted in the hospital... explaining that we've been rather conservative with my unexplained spotting problem and it's time we take a more aggressive course of action: Isoxsuprine hydrochloride drip.

So I had myself admitted at Manila Doctors at 1:00 AM last Friday. Some contractions and spotting (resulting in increased ml/hour drip) and then chest pains (side effect of the Isoxsuprine) extended my hospital stay till Monday.

Hubby didn't go to work Friday, Monday and Tuesday (to help me get settled, and instruct the maid on how to take care of me). I think he was even more exhausted by my confinement than I was... having to work at the hospital while I rest, and having to wake up from the little rest he gets to un-plug my infusion pump and help me to the CR (they suggested the use of bedpans but I was adamant against that, hehe). He'd buy me merienda, cheer me up with jokes, sit by my side so I can smell him and make lambing, hold me when I cry, etc.

When we realized that I couldn't wash my privates on my own, we actually laughed nervously together... knowing we'd come to a point in our lives when we'd have to do such acts of love, but never dreaming it would be required so soon. Thank heavens for a bidet though... and use of my right hand. But really, my Baby was a trooper.

And everytime the doctors and interns will come around to monitor the baby's heartbeat using a Doppler ultrasound, i'd see my husband's face relax, and his eyes light up, when Baby Sac's heartbeat is found (found, kasi he's super likot... and never in the same area).

I felt guilty about the unexpected expense (we spent some P14k at the hospital, less P4k from Philhealth, and plus P4,500 for doctor's fees aside from the medicines amounting to thousands which i'd have to take till my 20th week) and the stress my condition is putting on hubby's shoulders... and always, he reminds me that this is what loving parents do: everything to save a child. He'd also be honest about being stressed, but he assures me that it will never mean he won't go through hell for me... for us.

I'm really, really lucky to be so loved. And i'm really, really proud to have chosen such a loving man.

*~*

Baby Sac is ok. My cervix remains closed. Despite every precaution i've taken, I was still found to have UTI. They also found an endometric (?) polyp which may be causing the bleeding. Anyway, it's all monitoring and prayers from here... but i've passed the halfway zone. With God's will, we'll be fussing over a baby ball in 4.5 months' time.