While at a breastfeeding mission last Monday, in the midst of giving away the last of my son's old clothes, I was approached by a grandmother who held up her beautiful granddaughter, fair skinned and peacefully sleeping in her arms, and asked me to her grandchild, whose father is already dead. The baby girl couldn't be older than 2 months and looked healthy enough. I bit my lip and smiled and just told the grandma to take care of the baby because she looks so precious.
Inside, I started to tear up already. Such things cannot help but break a mother's heart. Then the grandma approached me again to appeal her cause, "sige na mam, ampunin nyo na sya... kawawa naman, sa inyo na, patay na tatay nya.... andun yung nanay nya, kausapin na natin para makuha nyo na sya"
All I could was smile as I shook my head and walked away.
It was especially ironic that hubs and I are trying and hoping for a baby girl. We're not that desperate for one, and another baby boy would be equally loved and welcome, but we really hope to be blessed with a baby girl. So yeah, it's one of those moments that's really sad so of course, I shed tears while telling about it to my fellow LATCHers.
I know that child's future is questionable, at that evacuation center. And I know that i'd somehow feel forevr guilty that I essentially rejected a child. Going in these missions, you give of your time and service, but there are just some things you can't give, you can't cure, you can't mend...
*~*
Hubby was very comforting when I told him. Then that night, I dreamt that hubs was given a child older by several months than Yakee. It was a boy and he couldn't say 'no' to the appeal for adoption because the boy was deaf so he brought the little boy home. In the dream, I was concerned because I didn't want to remove Yakee's eldest child status. The adopted baby we called SITH (Star Wars, hello).
*~*
It's not that we're against adoption. We are open to the idea if we're really not going to be blessed with more kids. But we're also not like other couples who have already chosen to adopt rather than bear children so adoption is something we will decide upon, talk about, explore, and consult authorities with. It's not a road we'd take just because somebody thrusts a child our way, no matter how beautiful.
*~*
I will always be praying for that girl though.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
My Unhelpful Husband
The mommy moment is here in its entirety.
Anyway, I texted hubs about it, saying that I was crying, that our baby is a boy na talaga and all that... and how drama I was when it was only two years worth of memories that am remembering while sorting out his clothes.
He first texted me back, "Mwah"
Then he texted me, "Isipin mo na lang how you'd feel pag papamigay mo clothes ko after I die."
So I texted him back, "Tadeu ka pala eh... show me the money!!!"
Yup.. we have a very sick sense of humor sometimes. But drat my darling husband, now I can't get the thought away from my mind... of someday having to do just that (or him having to do that if I go first). Sigh. Where do I even start and stop with the memories, the loving thoughts, the hopes and dreams? Life doesn't seem like much of a life anymore until I got married and had a family of my own in him. So I really can't imagine not being with him. Ever.
Anyway, I texted hubs about it, saying that I was crying, that our baby is a boy na talaga and all that... and how drama I was when it was only two years worth of memories that am remembering while sorting out his clothes.
He first texted me back, "Mwah"
Then he texted me, "Isipin mo na lang how you'd feel pag papamigay mo clothes ko after I die."
So I texted him back, "Tadeu ka pala eh... show me the money!!!"
Yup.. we have a very sick sense of humor sometimes. But drat my darling husband, now I can't get the thought away from my mind... of someday having to do just that (or him having to do that if I go first). Sigh. Where do I even start and stop with the memories, the loving thoughts, the hopes and dreams? Life doesn't seem like much of a life anymore until I got married and had a family of my own in him. So I really can't imagine not being with him. Ever.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Terri-Yakee and the Family
Yakee woke up yesterday crying and in a bad mood. No amount of whispered words, caresses and gentle prodding would console him. Then he later spilled his milk because he was playing with breakfast. He scattered the pasta to be cooked, and started using some of them to poke his nose with. We had to remove his clothes because he was insisting on 'washing' his hands at the sink. He was contrary to the core so I left him for a while to get his birthday cake.
The birthday cake cheered him up a lot. He even allowed himself to be fed some lunch while 'talking' to Barney. He also fed himself spaghetti pasta sans sauce but with cheese. And he drank lots and lots and lots of juice. Later, he ate all the NIPS and sugar flowers on the cake.
Pappie accidentaly dropped the ceramic Barney and broke it in two (from the neck). Yakee then dropped the body and broke it in so many pieces. He picked them up, handed them over to Pappie and said, "Fix this." :)
It was today that I realized that our son was really stringing along phrases and sentences now. His favorite words are still "no" and "stop" and "okay" :)
After lunch, he watched some videos and then fell asleep on my breast while listening to the story of his birth. After that, we went to Harisson to look at musical instruments and wait for hubs' family for dinner at Aristocrat. Yakee went into ecstasies at the instruments shop but we decided not to buy anything from there yet. We just went to buy him some long pants instead while he feasted on a waffle.
Anyway, his Momsy's gift to him was a ukelele which he got at Aristocrat. He made the restaurant patrons laugh so much because he kept 'performing'. It's really amazing how he has form and hopefully, music will be one of his passions.
He also enjoyed playing with his cousins and we enjoyed taking pictures of them.
*~*
It was also Tito Luis' birthday and Yakee kept handing him the ukelele (which, we generally refer to as guitar since Yakee cannot really yet distinguish the difference in number of strings).
*~*
It was also Tita Ninang Chin's despedida and I heard they were all crying on their way home. We wish her well in her job in Dubai.
*~*
Pics and vids to follow.
The birthday cake cheered him up a lot. He even allowed himself to be fed some lunch while 'talking' to Barney. He also fed himself spaghetti pasta sans sauce but with cheese. And he drank lots and lots and lots of juice. Later, he ate all the NIPS and sugar flowers on the cake.
Pappie accidentaly dropped the ceramic Barney and broke it in two (from the neck). Yakee then dropped the body and broke it in so many pieces. He picked them up, handed them over to Pappie and said, "Fix this." :)
It was today that I realized that our son was really stringing along phrases and sentences now. His favorite words are still "no" and "stop" and "okay" :)
After lunch, he watched some videos and then fell asleep on my breast while listening to the story of his birth. After that, we went to Harisson to look at musical instruments and wait for hubs' family for dinner at Aristocrat. Yakee went into ecstasies at the instruments shop but we decided not to buy anything from there yet. We just went to buy him some long pants instead while he feasted on a waffle.
Anyway, his Momsy's gift to him was a ukelele which he got at Aristocrat. He made the restaurant patrons laugh so much because he kept 'performing'. It's really amazing how he has form and hopefully, music will be one of his passions.
He also enjoyed playing with his cousins and we enjoyed taking pictures of them.
*~*
It was also Tito Luis' birthday and Yakee kept handing him the ukelele (which, we generally refer to as guitar since Yakee cannot really yet distinguish the difference in number of strings).
*~*
It was also Tita Ninang Chin's despedida and I heard they were all crying on their way home. We wish her well in her job in Dubai.
*~*
Pics and vids to follow.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Monday, October 05, 2009
Sunday Family Date
We are not a very religious family. Sure, I teach Yakee to pray before bedtime and I talk to him about Papa Jesus but we don't often go to Mass.
But since it was my birthday last Saturday, and he will turn two this Wednesday, and Pepeng spared Manila... we went to Mass yesterday.
We've forgotten how charming a place Paco Park is. Since we were a little late when we got there, there wasn't space inside anymore so we heard the Mass from outside. Yakee roamed a lot and was delighted with the water-filled fountain ("swimming Mommy?"). He was also happy with a little boy about his age who he played with. He kept engaging the other boy to run after him and kept signing "go" to the boy. Hehe. I wanted to go around the park with him after the Mass but it started to rain.
Then we went to Manila Ocean Park to check out this relatively new restaurant: Makansutra. Love, love, love the food and ambience. Yakee loved the Michael Jackson drink (which is a soya drink with black beans). He also loved the chopsticks and used them as drum sticks on the wooden chairs. Hubs and I loved the food, especially the Crispy Catfish. And Yakee was blessedly cooperative during dinner, maybe because he hasn't had any beef broth for a long time now since our pressure cooker got broken.
We capped the night off with Alex Franco cake. Yakee loves the mangoes and mousse part of the cake so much though, he's turning into competition! Hmpf!
*~*
Meanwhile, Yakee's tantrums continue but he's still such a joy really. And I like the fact that having me around all the time has made him a secure little boy.
But since it was my birthday last Saturday, and he will turn two this Wednesday, and Pepeng spared Manila... we went to Mass yesterday.
We've forgotten how charming a place Paco Park is. Since we were a little late when we got there, there wasn't space inside anymore so we heard the Mass from outside. Yakee roamed a lot and was delighted with the water-filled fountain ("swimming Mommy?"). He was also happy with a little boy about his age who he played with. He kept engaging the other boy to run after him and kept signing "go" to the boy. Hehe. I wanted to go around the park with him after the Mass but it started to rain.Then we went to Manila Ocean Park to check out this relatively new restaurant: Makansutra. Love, love, love the food and ambience. Yakee loved the Michael Jackson drink (which is a soya drink with black beans). He also loved the chopsticks and used them as drum sticks on the wooden chairs. Hubs and I loved the food, especially the Crispy Catfish. And Yakee was blessedly cooperative during dinner, maybe because he hasn't had any beef broth for a long time now since our pressure cooker got broken. We capped the night off with Alex Franco cake. Yakee loves the mangoes and mousse part of the cake so much though, he's turning into competition! Hmpf!
*~*
Meanwhile, Yakee's tantrums continue but he's still such a joy really. And I like the fact that having me around all the time has made him a secure little boy.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Birthday Girl Me
Hubs and I slept late because we watched Heroes (Episode 1 & 2) and Grey's Anatomy (episode 1). Then I finished the layout for my nieces' birthday invitation. We woke up at past 9 AM, had breakfast, then I slept again. Hubby said he woke me up 3 times for lunch but I wouldn't budge so he let me be. I woke up at past 4:30 PM.
So yeah, I spent my birthday mostly in bed.
After that, hubby woke up to buy pancit, calamares, lumpiang shanghai and pick up my Alex Franco cake.
Anyway, although I was really disappointed to have spent the whole day in bed, i'm still very grateful that I can afford to do that. Pepeng did not wreak havoc here in Manila so we need not scamper to save our things again from flood. And we're all generally healthy, my baby is thriving and intelligent and hyper (although he's slightly warm these days), I am finding more and more purpose in life, and romance continues to bloom between hubby and I.
Oh and I haven't taken a picture of it yet but hubby gave me a new pair of rubber shoes which I really appreciate. Now, I don't have any excuse not to exercise anymore.
But... I have to feast on cake first :)
So yeah, I spent my birthday mostly in bed.
After that, hubby woke up to buy pancit, calamares, lumpiang shanghai and pick up my Alex Franco cake.
Anyway, although I was really disappointed to have spent the whole day in bed, i'm still very grateful that I can afford to do that. Pepeng did not wreak havoc here in Manila so we need not scamper to save our things again from flood. And we're all generally healthy, my baby is thriving and intelligent and hyper (although he's slightly warm these days), I am finding more and more purpose in life, and romance continues to bloom between hubby and I.
Oh and I haven't taken a picture of it yet but hubby gave me a new pair of rubber shoes which I really appreciate. Now, I don't have any excuse not to exercise anymore.
But... I have to feast on cake first :)
Thursday, October 01, 2009
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